Funeral for a Foe

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Death of a Browser

Recently, a "funeral" was held for Internet Explorer 6.0, the web browser that just didn't want to die. If you could hold a "funeral" for something (other than a person or animal), what would it be?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/29/10

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mark the passing of the No Child Left Behind law. While its intentions may have originally been based in the betterment of the education of all students, it quickly became evident that it was nothing more than a hindrance to the educational process. No Child was Left Behind because instead Every Child was left behind. Teachers lost the freedom to teach in a manner the benefited their students and became prisoner to teaching to the tests mandated by this law. Students no longer learned functional skills, but only what was covered on the mandated tests. Instead of improving schools and student performance, the opposite occurred during your reign. Schools continued to fail and student performance continued to be an embarrassment in comparison to other nations. High school drop out rates remained high, students failed to learn to read, and minorities continued to demonstrate a gap in performance. I wish we could say you will be missed, but we can finally get down to the task of educating our students in ways that will make learning an active process that engages children. We can finally make accommodations for all children who learn a little differently, who need a little help, and who may not master the concept the first time it is presented. Finally learning can be individualized for all children and teachers can teach instead of prep students for tests. Rest in peace, or rest in pieces.

Winner: Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: JenM voted for her and I believe in democracy. Also, many programs are created with great intentions and then continue on long after it's become obvious that the plan is falling short - I wouldn't mind seeing quite a few of these buried. Great answers all around.

Spring Poem

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

To celebrate the arrival of Spring yesterday, I tried to find a nice Spring poem to share. Instead, I found this:

Ode to Spring
O spring, O spring
You wonderful thing!
O spring, O spring, O spring!
O spring, O spring,
When the birdies sing
I feel like a king,
O spring!
~Walter R. Brooks

Either rewrite this awful poem or write your own brief Ode to Spring.

We Have Winners!!! 03/29/10 (All of the responses were amazing, I had trouble even narrowing it down to two!)

The first day of Spring is a wonderful thing;
Its escorted by sunny, warm weather.
Robins take wing, and all the birds sing,
And the light coats replace those of leather.

Yes, the Sun in the sky brings a tear to my eye
As it banishes gray hues, so dreary.
Winter's still there, by the nip in the air,
But its pall will grow less and less weary.

With a smile in my heart, I'll now play the part
Of a lover whose dear one comes calling,
And cheeks flushed with pink might cause one to think
That the star for the costar has fallen.

Winner: D.A. Schweiss on his blog
Reason: This is a beautiful take on Spring and the transition away from Winter.

oh spring! oh spring!
you ghastly thing
with your bursting enthusiasm
and syrupy smile
oh why can't you leave me
to wallow in winter,
and shiver and grumble a while?

Winner: Radhika92
Reason: While so many of us are excited for Spring, I thought this was a great representation for those who aren't.

Cameo

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



Write whatever comes to mind about this cameo.

Source: Creative Images Rubber Stamps, submitted by Alchemy16

We Have A Winner!!! 03/29/10

"Hey pretty lady. Why so blue?"

Winner: davidseven
Reason: Since it was Alchemy16's cue, I let her choose the winner. She picked davidseven "cause it was funny, and unexpected, and completely not pertinent. :)"

Bedrest

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... She is stuck basically on bedrest for most days. She is absolutely through with television. What book, DVD, or other creative idea would you suggest to her to help pass the time and keep from going crazier than she already is?

Thanks to Bethany for today's cue!

We Have A Winner!!! 03/29/10

I cannot imagine being stuck on bedrest, but if I were, the first thing I would turn to would be audio books, unabridged audio books. If my friend had the same taste I do, I would suggest the Mitford Series by Jan Karon, all of them, in order, and only the unabridged ones. Then, The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold, which is the most amazing book I have ever read. And then on to the crime stories I love so much - too many to suggest here. Throw in some Stephen King and some Maeve Binchy - yes, I have conflicting tastes : ) Since I am usually a multi-tasker, I would also suggest knitting, crocheting, making cards, scrapbooking, taking courses on line, teaching myself some software so I could become an expert and teach it on line, learning and using photo manipulation software. Many of the crafts that can be done on bedrest (like the knitting/crocheting) can be donated to very worthy causes when they start to pile up : ) Some light exercise while in bed would be a good use of time too, if it's possible.

Winner: B, as posted on her blog
Reason: Since this was Bethany's cue, I let her choose the winner. She chose B because "she is the only one that mentioned that even on bedrest you can do crafts that can be donated to charity which is an awesome idea to still feel useful when limited in what you can do, who suggested audio books, and who suggested taking an online course."

Repo Man

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

The bank has sent a letter stating that they will be repossessing your motorcycle due to non-payment of the loan. However, you have never owned a motorcycle or done business with this bank. Write a letter to clear up the mistake.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/26/10

Dear Sirs,

After reviewing my records I see that you are correct that I have not made a single payment on the mentioned Motorcycle.

However, while reviewing those records I see that you have likewise not issued payment for the Circus Elephant, Wading pool and 3 tons of Jell-o recently purchased from me. Once those Items are returned or paid for I will happily turn over any and all motorcycles which I have purchased from your company.

Thank you in advance for your co operation

Winner: Jason (whom I have no way of contacting)
Reason: I rather like the idea of turning it right back on the bank and citing THEIR non-payment!

All Irish

Now What?: Write what comes next.

Today is St. Patrick's Day!

How do you celebrate, if you do? Or if you don't, how would you respond if someone tries to pinch you for not wearing green?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/24/10

I don't do much to celebrate St. Patrick's Day except I always wearing green!

It has become fairly acceptable in our society to pinch a person for an infraction as benign as not wearing green on March 17th. However, it is very much not acceptable to break those peoples pinching fingers for touching me and causing me pain.

So I wear green.

Happy Don't Pinch Me (or else) Day

Winner: Melinda (@mstacer)
Reason: "Don't Pinch Me (or else) Day"? I love it - it's exactly my kind of holiday!

MacGyver

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

You are handcuffed in the trunk of a car with only the following:

tweezers, breath mint, paper plate, plastic bag, emergency flares, jar of salsa

MacGyver your way out of the situation. (Yes, I think MacGyver IS a verb that means to manipulate an uncommon means of escape.)

Thanks to davidseven for inspiring this one!

We Have A Winner!!! 03/26/10

Well I’m useless with tweezers, so I’d open up the jar of salsa and dump it on my wrists. Hopefully that would make them slippery enough to escape the handcuffs.

Then I’d want to see what the heck I was doing, so I’d light the emergency flares. I’d quickly realize that was not the smartest move when the trunk filled with smoke. In the ensuing convulsions I’d probably hit the trunk hard enough, or in just the right spot, to pop it open.

Sitting up while hacking up a lung, I’d start waving frantically at the car travelling behind me. They, understandably, would be rather confused. A moment of inspiration would lead to me using the tweezers to carve out the word HELP in the paper plate and holding it up for them to read.

Their comprehension secured, they would phone the police while I tidied up after myself, sticking the used flare, torn up plate, and spilled salsa into the plastic bag. My Momma didn’t raise no dirty boy.

Once the cops arrived and pulled over my would be kidnapper, I’d offer the Good Samaritan who helped rescue me their hard won reward – a breath mint.

Hey, it would be all I had left.

Winner: Marc
Reason: Marc wins for his original and unselfish use of the mint.

Walker, Texas Ranger

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Happy Birthday, Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris turned 70 last Thursday, March 10. Write a brief story about his birthday party.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/24/10

Unfortunately, one-time actor and all-time ass-hat Chuck Norris passed away last Thursday at his own 70th birthday party.

His tea-bagger friends brewed up a spa-sized mug, but Chuck had previously downed a 64 oz blender full of vodka and whole bananas, mistaking ir for a fruit smoothie.

Thus impaired, Chuck tumbled over the rim, and refusing help, because - well he's CHUCK NORRIS, doncha know, drowned.

He nearly succeeded in returning from the dead, but could not overcome the rejection of the ObamaKare Death Panel.

RIP Chuck. You're gone but not missed!

Winner: JazzBumpa
Reason: Hmm, methinks perhaps Mr. Bumpa is not a fan of Mr. Norris?

Daylight Savings

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Welcome to Daylight Savings Time. Rewrite the saying above.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/23/10

Early to rise,
Early to bed.
Wealthy and wise,
With a social life that's dead.

Winner: davidseven
Reason: Very nice job twisting the original back on itself.

Monkey Business

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



You know you want to caption this monkey! How could you possibly resist?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/23/10

Orangutan: Awt eh ah oo do, OWNT ick san!

(TRANSLATION: "What ever you do, DON'T lick sand!"

Winner: SparkleFarkle (@WishMittens
Reason: I've had sand in my mouth before at the beach and I hope the face I made was een half as cute as this monkey. Wait, I'm not sure if that's what I mean...

College Major

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... He's choosing colleges and declaring a major. What field would you recommend he study that will be vital for the next generation?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/19/10

Finance, with a minor in one of the humanities.

The first because it's a specific skill set that's applicable in a variety of careers and jobs. The second because it's what turns you into an educated person as it teaches you how to learn. If you learn how to learn, think critically, think creatively, you can do well at any job.

Winner: TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Reason: Her answer makes a lot of sense. Really, any major that teaches you "how to lear, think critically, think creatively" is a great choice.

Desperately Seeking Cues

As I've mentioned over on my other blog, I'm going to be heading off for vacation in a few weeks. Since I don't want to strand you here without cues, I'm once again pleading begging selling my soul in exchange for some cue suggestions.

You can use the handy dandy Suggest a Cue form or just email me. Or tweet me. I'm not picky, just let me know. If I use your cue, I'll hook you up with your name in lights, some kind words, and a link to your blog.

Also, I won't be able to name winners in my totally consistent usual haphazard manner for about twelve days so everyone will need to play nice and I'll start catching up winners as soon as I return home.

Thanks in advance!

You Done Me Wrong

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Someone in your life has wronged you and you can't say anything but you also can't let it go. Write them a note instead, realizing they'll never see it, just to get it off your chest.

I've done this many times and often find it helps. I then delete it or run it through the shredder but at least it's out of my system.

03/23: No winner on this one - only two responses.

Cats vs Dogs

Now What?: Write what comes next.

This Saturday, there will be an epic battle between cats and dogs.

Which group will claim victory and why?

Yes, this is a bit of a repeat but the responses were great. I'm seriously considering replacing a daily cue with some sort of debate question.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/18/10

Cats take the high ground. Dogs tire of barking and eventually break off to pee on trees and hump each other.

Cats cannot act as a cohesive unit and will never mount a coordinated attack.

Regardless, war ends when dinner is served.

Winner: TM (@trmink)
Reason: From my experience, this is all true. And probably why the debate continues - there's really never going to be a winner. It's not in their natures.

Ultimate Winners

The hard-working and talented participants below have collected wins on all seven days or have won Wildcard days to fill in the gaps.

Congratulations!

03/01/10 - C. Beth
03/26/10 - Marc
05/06/10 - Inspired Dreamer
05/25/10 - Bethany
05/25/10 - davidseven

First Job

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

lawn, robot, yellow, spork

Tell us about your first job.

My first real taxable job was as a student aide at the University. No sporks allowed.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/16/10

My first summer job was to cut the grass at a nursing home, in Arizona. It was 99 degrees when I woke up at 8am and I don't particularly care that it was a dry heat because so is a freakin' oven and you don't see people crawling into those for a vacation. My father said I had to work this summer, something about being a spoiled rich brat, but he never said anything about having to do the manual labor myself. So I made a quick trip to Gadgets 'N Things and bought one of those top of the line robotic lawnmowers. I tried to get one in green so it would blend in with the over watered lawn more but all they had was yellow. So I charged that robot up and then set it loose on the perfectly flat and perfectly out of place green lawn in the middle of a desert. As it cut the lawn, I relaxed in the air conditioned rec room of the nursing home. Hey, they have Wii in those places now and I was deep into a bowling battle with some old guy when I heard an old woman screaming about a UFO on the lawn. Oh crap! I dashed into the kitchen to find a group of old ladies gathered around the window watching my bright yellow lawnmower working. I tried to distract them with the awesomeness that is a spork but I failed miserably. Finally the director came in to see what all the fuss was about and I was caught red handed (or yellow roboted). After a call to my father, the robot was confiscated and in punishment I was given an antique push mower - you know the ones that do not have an engine. Apparently the residents are not the only antiques kept there. I earned that check, only to have to turn it over to my father to pay for the robot I put on his charge card. The same robot that now cuts our lawn so he does not have to go out in the heat.

Winner: Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: Great scenario crafted with this list of words. Nice job!

Salmon Story

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Upbeat salmon forecast worries fishermen

Write the article that accompanies the headline.

Source: SFGate.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/16/10

A massive harvest of salmon sounds like a good thing, but for some fishermen near Scotlands fishing grounds, it's a real worry. Angus McCaber explains.

"Weel, I canna see ho we'll be away to kitch all dese salmons. We dinna have the wurms."

The worm shortage is a distinct source of concern, as they are a necessary part of fish catching. Tests are continuing with fake worms to enable the men to catch all that they can.

This however, also worries Mr McCaber, whose wife owns several sea fishing boats as well as a smokery.

"I seys to t'missus the other day, I looks in the freezer, and it's full. I has to seys to her "She canna take any more Captain. She's up to capacity as it is. I canna change the laws of physics!"

Winner: s'me
Reason: The faithful representation of the accent won me over.

Romeo and Juliet

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Romeo and Juliet is a classic but let's play Shakespeare and rewrite the ending.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/14/10

Oh that's easy - the parents let them get married, they start having kids, he has a boring going nowhere job, she has to get a really crappy job since she's a woman and can only work part time with the kids, he gets tired of it and cheats on her - she poisons him. Happily ever after right??

Winner: B, who posted her response on her blog
Reason: Perhaps the moral of B's story is that living an unhappy, unfulfilled life is a fate worse than a passionate life that ends in death? Beats me but I kind of like the idea that either way, they would not escape their eventual fate.

Fortune

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



What does she see in the crystal ball?

Source: George Grantham Bain Collection (Library of Congress): Pauline Frederick - Potiphar's wife (LOC)

We Have A Winner!!! 03/14/10

She sees herself fifty years from now sitting in the same chair looking into the same crystal ball.

Winner: SOL
Reason: I liked her response so much that I'm going to make it into a future cue. I can't imagine 50 years from now seeing that nothing in my life has changed.

Tattoo

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... Her name is TMC and she blogs over at Return to Rural. Recently, she's posted about the new tattoo she's having created on her back. If you were to have something tattooed on your body (let's imagine it's free, both in regards to cash and pain), what would it be and where?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/14/10

I'd tattoo eyeballs on my eyelids so I could sleep at my desk and no one would know!

Winner: Eternal Lizdom
Reason: Sounds very useful! Not to mention very painful.

Advice to Newlyweds

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

While digging through the Google Analytics for this site, I found someone came searching on the term "advice for newlyweds". I'm not sure if they found what they were looking for so let's give it to them!

Write a note of advice to the newlyweds.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/14/10

Dear Head Over Heals in Love,

Get a nice piece of paper and something comfortable to write with. Sit down in a comfortable place to write. Write out what you love about your spouse and why you wanted to marry. Fold the note carefully and store it in a safe, easily accessible place.

Believe it or not there will probably be days when you will wonder what you ever saw in your spouse and why you ever wanted to get married. On those days it will be good to be able to pull out your note and remind yourself of how you feel today.

Winner: Jacqueline, who posted on her blog
Reason: I've been married almost 12 years and I think even at this stage her advice is valuable.

Genie in a Bottle

Now What?: Write what comes next.

You have rubbed the magic lamp and a genie promises you three wishes.

Now what?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/10/10

I wish for millions of dollars
And the little man smiles at me,
Snaps his greasy fingers,
And I'm buried in cash from Monopoly.

I wish to be able to fly
And the little bastard smirks;
With another snappity snap,
I receive two plane tickets to Newark.

I wish for immortality
And he snaps his fingers once more;
Now I'm up to my neck in formaldehyde,
And thinking I should be more careful what I wish for.

Winner: Marc
Reason: A rhyme with a lesson. Nice work!

List

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

Let's try something a little different this week.

duck, chair, elbow, banana

You find the following items on a list. What do they have in common? What kind of list might this be and why?

Example: If you found a list that said "onion, carrots, potatoes, beef", it might be a grocery list and perhaps the list-maker was putting together a stew.


We Have A Winner!!! 03/10/10

The producers of The new adventures of MacGyver really wanted to top themselves for bizarre escape scenarios.

Winner: davidseven
Reason: I'm not sure I want to imagine what the duck would be used for - here's hoping it's more of a verb and less of a noun!

Ultimate Winner #1: C Beth

Cue the trumpets! Throw some confetti! Alert the press!

Today we celebrate a momentous occasion - our first participant to collect all seven days! Too bad the Olympics have ended or we'd have her stand on a podium and give her a gold medal.

Our first Ultimate Winner? None other than C. Beth (@cbethblog)!

It seems only fitting that Beth is our first winner because she has faithfully participated in every cue. Even more? She did it in limerick!!!

Check out her wins:

Day One
11/30/09 - Tiger Woods

Day Two
02/16/10 - Jealous

Day Three
10/28/09 - Halloween Costume
12/09/09 - I'm Proud

Day Four
11/19/09 - Sponsorship
12/17/09 - Santa
12/31/09 - New Year

Day Five
01/22/10 - Internet Dating

Day Six
11/14/09 - Over Her Shoulder
01/02/10 - Power Go-Kart

Day Seven
12/27/09 - Direction
01/09/10 Licks

So everyone join me in congratulating Beth at being awesome!

And what's the prize for being awesome? I haven't figured that part out yet. She never seems interested when I offer her unlimited amounts of cat hair so for now, she'll have to make do with knowing she has won eleventy bajillion internets while I hook her up with a shiny button and my husband's stock portfolio.

Ohno

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Marketers Say Oh Yes To Ohno

I think most of the cheesy horrible Ohno/Oh Yes headlines have been written but take your best shot at a few more. Or, feel free to write another horrible headline.

Source: CNBC.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/10/10

I was blue 'til that wonderful night--
Tickled pink was I at the sight!
Yellow he's not--
That trick was red hot!
He's the cream of the crop; he's Shaun White!

Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
Reason: Yes, she's still allowed to play. And she's still allowed to win. Because I'm the boss and I said so!

Lions and Lambs

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Tomorrow is March 1st. Traditionally, the saying goes:

In like a lion, out like a lamb.

Play editor and write your own version of the idiom.

Interested in the origin of this saying? It has something to do with constellations and Leo, the Lion, and Aries, the ram or lamb. Planetary alignment and all that jazz.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/09/10

Background: The grifters swindled some simple local folks out of their hard-earned savings; then beat it before the long arm of the law could nab them.

Hence: In like a-lyin', out on the lam.

Winner: JazzBumpa
Reason: Very clever. Very clever indeed.

Such a Long Time

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



What happened here?

Source:Powerhouse Museum Collection: Portrait of an articulated skeleton on a bentwood chair

We Have A Winner!!! 03/09/10

They told me I should make sure my life became fat-free, organic, no gluten, no dairy, no street-drugs, including medicinal marijuana, no preservatives, no sodium, no carbs, no starch, no auto emissions, no red meats, non-frozen, no sugar, no cholesterol, no smoking, no alchohol, no Red Dye #2 or any other artificial colors or flavorings or sweeteners, no lactose, no high fructose syrup, no radon, no molds, no UV sun exposure, no long-range noise exposure, no asbestos, no mercury from fish, no flouridated water, no non-iodized salt, no freon, no hormone enhanced foods of any kind, no plastic bags, no DDT or pesticides, no vaccines, no trans-fats, no chemical-dumping, no saturated fats, no microwave cooking, no plastic packaging for foods, no floro-carbon sprays, no high-tension wires, and no acid rain.

So I did and look what happened!!

Winner: Mellodee
Reason: Great responses but I had to go with this one. I guess there really IS nothing left once you cut out the bad stuff.

Rock Band

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... He dreams of some day becoming a star with his neighborhood garage band. He thinks the only thing holding them back is a great name. What would you suggest?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/09/10

"The More You Drink the Better We Sound"

Winner: Inspired Dreamer
Reason: I think that's true of most bands. But definitely THIS one.

Spaghetti Incident

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Someone has stolen your lunch (leftover spaghetti) out of the work refrigerator. They didn't even bother to leave the bowl behind. Leave a note on the fridge to the spaghetti thief.

This happened at my work a few years ago. The employee that had his lunch stolen has since moved on but we will never forget the Spaghetti Incident.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/09/10

Dear Spaghetti Thief,
I thought I was cheap tossing Chef Boyardee spaghetti into my own bowl to make it look like I actually cooked last night, but you make me look like Julia Child's comparatively! I hope you feel proud of yourself of going to all the effort of to steal a 99 cent can of two year old spaghetti in a dollar store chipped bowl that probably is painted with more lead than paint. I thoroughly enjoyed my lunch that the fellow office workers treated me to out of sympathy, and it was so much better than what was in that bowl. Next week I am bringing in canned beef stew - it will be in an orange bowl if you would like to steal another meal!

Thank you,
Rebecca

P.S. Could you taste the new powdered laxative I added to the spaghetti? I have the worst IBS and am hoping it works, but you tried out my first test sample. Could you leave me a note with the results?

Winner: Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: Some great responses. For the account of what REALLY happened with the Spaghetti Incident at my office, check out my other blog tomorrow.

Failing and Falling

Now What?: Write what comes next.

You have to give a very important presentation to the president of the company. As you walk to the podium, you trip and fall flat on your face.

What do you say or do?

I haven't done this but I've witnessed something very similar. Horrifying.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/03/10

"Don't worry, I prepared for the presentation, just not so much the walking bit."=

Winner: Lora
Reason: GREAT responses all around on this cue. I laughed a lot and have made some notes for the next time my two left feet claim victory.

Dance Machine

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

candle, rocky, spinach, yellow

Make up a new dance move.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/03/10

1) Partners (boy and girl) face each other.

2) Each places hands palm together overhead, making the shape of a candle flame.

3) They sway from side to side.

4) They then do-si-do, promenade right, sashay left, then swing right, because that's about as spinachy as anything else could be.

5) The boy suddenly remembers he's eskeered of girls and runs from the dance floor in total embarrassment.

6) The girl shrugs and goes to talk with her friends. But not about boys. They're really not very interesting.

Winner: JazzBumpa
Reason: I'm not sure how new this dance move is - I remember doing it years ago. But it still made me laugh for the honesty of it.

Suicidal Penguins

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

March of the Suicidal Penguins

Recently, penguins won the epic battle against chickens in a landslide. What could possibly prompt a headline such as this?

Source: AOL News. It's actually a very interesting story if you have a minute to read.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/01/10

I think the penguins found out about the theories that some scientist and others have about global warming, ice caps melting, and all that other stuff that would ruin their lives, so instead of waiting for their impending deaths, their committing suicide.

Winner: Silver Star (@silvrstar)
Reason: Sometimes, if I listen to too many health "news" reports, I find myself feeling almost as disillusioned. Poor penguins, I feel their pain.

Foot in Mouth

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Think of a time when you stuck your foot in your mouth, saying something you shouldn't have said.

Set-up the situation for us and then give yourself a do-over.

We Have a Winner!!!! Complete and Total Failure!!!! 3/1/10
Let's just stick a fork in this one and call it done. And let's never ever speak of it again.

Curlers

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



Write a caption.

Source: Norway's Torger Nergaard (C) releases the shot as teammates Haavard Vad Petersson (L) and Christoffer Svae sweep during their men's round robin curling game against the United States at the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics February 16, 2010. REUTERS/Lyle Stafford (CANADA)

We Have A Winner!!! 03/01/10

Norway's Men's Curling Team - yet another victim of lost airline luggage.

Winner: Marc
Reason: An airline once lost my luggage. I walked around for a day looking sorta like that - but not at an International sporting event. Next time I see someone out in public in their pajama bottoms, I'm going to ask them if they're a member of the Norwegian curling team.

Participants Requested!

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... She runs this blog that posts daily cues. Maybe you've heard of it? Despite a good number of daily visitors (even on the worst day) and over 80 followers, 4 of the last 7 days don't even have 5 participants each. She's tried giving away wildcard awards, she's tried giving out money. While traffic spiked, participation did not. She wants your honest feedback - what would you suggest?

We Have A Winner (sorta)!!! 02/26/10
Winner: Me! And you! And the blog!
Reason: Thank you all for your fantastic feedback. I'm putting some of your ideas into place immediately and some are going to take a bit more thinking. I've been feeling a bit burnt out, to be honest, and really want to up the participation levels to make it more fun for everyone involved. Look for details to come. And thanks for being loyal and awesome!

Acceptance Speech

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

You have won an award. What is it for? What will you say at your acceptance speech?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/01/10

I'd like to sincerely thank the academy and our esteemed partners and friends present here tonight. I'd also like to thank Qdoba for sponsoring today's nacho bar lunch *waves to delivery man in the back of the room* and for bringing me, as this evening's honoree *bats eyelashes coyly* a pint of tortilla soup. I love that sh*t!

I am thrilled to be this year's recipient of the Most Outstanding Bed Head - Natural. I don't use any kind of styling product at all. This straight-standing mop is a product of a fine balance of tossing and turning. I feel blessed to have such bed head luck. I realize that others spend long hours and many dollars in a salon to get just this look *points vanna-style towards head.*

So thank you once again. I truly am thrilled to receive this award.

Winner:TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Reason: If I ever win anything, I totally want to celebrate with a nacho bar.

Party Pooper

Now What?: Write what comes next.

It's usually a good sign you should leave a party when...

Finish!

We Have A Winner!!! 02/26/10

...you finally take a good look around, recognize no one and realize that Mike's birthday cake actually says Steve.

Winner: Seriously Why Can't I
Reason: Probably a very good time to let yourself out the side door and never look back.

Jealous

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

garble, private, breathe, joy, wild

Write about a time you were jealous.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/01/10

I'm a Private in this war so wild.
I hear your garbled call to your child.
I breathe a sad sigh--
And ask, "Why can't I
Have that joy you had when you dialed?"

Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
Reason: I just liked it a lot. So it wins because I said so.

Olympic Event

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

The Winter Olympics are underway! Write about a controversial event making its debut.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/26/10

While some don't understand this sport, the intensity of the training is often overlooked. It takes days, weeks, months, years of dedicated training. It means dedicating your entire lifestyle. It means missing out on the fun activities friends do. It means missing out on family vacations. It means not getting to know your neighbors.

Choosing this event means choosing sacrifice.

This year marks the first year that the Olympics will recognize the sport of couch potatoing.

Personally- I'm going for the Gold!

Winner: Eternal Lizdom
Reason: Very well-argued. However, I think she'll have some strong competition for that gold medal. Especially among contenders from the USA!

Wildcard: Valentine

Wildcard: This category can be absolutely anything. Absolutely. Anything.

Your job is to provide text for greeting cards. Suggest a non-standard Valentine's Day card greeting.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/23/10

To my darling wife.

I'd rather have you than the TV remote. (Although if you don't make me choose, I will love you even more.)

Winner: davidseven
Reason: My husband always complains that none of the cards sound like they're written by men. Maybe this is more what he had in mind?

Zebra

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



Write a caption.

Source: sxc.hu

We Have A Winner!!! 02/20/10

"Do these stripes make my lips look big?"

Winner: Marsha
Reason: So many GREAT responses for this cue but this one made me laugh the hardest. Thanks to everyone who played!

Dreaming of the Ex

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... She's been "happily" married for some time but recently she keeps dreaming about an ex-boyfriend from high school. Other than a couple of emails over the years, she hasn't been in touch with him since graduation. Still, she dreams about him at least once a week and they aren't innocent, platonic dreams. How do you suggest she puts him out of her mind?

We Have A Winner!!! 02/20/10

I've been there. My morally superior sister said to sever the psychic connection, because she thought by dreaming of my ex I was cheating on my husband.

Instead, I wrote. A lot. In fact, I wrote a poem about one of the most frequently recurring dreams (called SYNESTHESIAN SAGE). I also wrote some pretty sweet sex scenes. Might as well use inner turmoil to further your creativity.

SYNESTHESIAN SAGE
Dreams never have music in them, do they?
The park bench dream fills my head though, fills my ears, fills my muscle and bone with sounds.
No music; just insect purr.
I'm barefoot walking one of the two clear hardpan tracks of the dirt road.

The park bench is black curved metal.
Ten feet from the road through tall grass there's the smooth bench warm in the sun.
No music; just raven wings.
Vibrations pulse, press, beat from life teeming in the sky in the trees in the grass in the ground.

Dreams carry smells (memory joggers) in them.
Sage is the smell is the sound of this dream, the sage I've crushed under my bare feet, the sage my feet swing over while I'm on the park bench in the sun, waiting.
It's the music.
Music carries the body - have you ever noticed? - draws the breath, holds the breath, makes the heart beat in cacophonous riotous totally irreverent rythyms, changes your mood.

He sits by me; the birds sound louder.
His hand in mine is a sliding fingertip stroke on steel guitar strings, but he says nothing.
The air is deafening.
We couldn't talk if we wanted to over the din and the sage.

Winner: Coppertop (Her blog is full of her writing - I got lost for awhile reading it. Check it out!)
Reason: As much as I love music, I'd never noticed before that my dreams don't seem to have a traditional soundtrack. But those small details, the same that might sounds and smells that might remind you of someone (say, an ex?) always seem so much stronger.

Noise Complaint

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Slip a note under your neighbor's door complaining about the noise.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/20/10

Dearest Neighbor,

You know you're loud. You know you're annoying. And I know what I know. What is that you ask? I have friends in all the "right" places. Friends who will help me "hide the body". Don't even think of using this note as blackmail, it's untraceable.

Do. The. Right. Thing.

Yours Truly,
Your Worst Possible Nightmare

Winner: Pamela
Reason: Nothing says neighborly like a nice threat!

P.S. Have a great day!

Epic Battle

Now What?: Write what comes next.

This Saturday, there will be an epic battle between penguins and chickens.

Which group will claim victory and why?

We Have A Winner!!! 02/17/10

The penguins won, of course, because everyone know that knows that no amount of BBQ sauce can mask the fact that penguin tastes like charbroiled ass. The chickens, however, were quite lovely with a little K.C. Masterpiece or a touch of honey mustard dipping sauce and were quickly devoured by their black and whited foes.

Winner: Rabbit (@redheaddancing)
Reason: The clear winners of this post are the penguins. Not a single vote for chickens? But Rabbit wins because his post made me hungry. So many great responses to this one though - I really enjoyed reading them!

Good Luck

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

discount, faulty, compose, half, cabbage

Tell us about a good luck charm.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/20/10

Dear Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and Assorted Fairies and Leprechauns,

I have paid my big brother all of my allowance to help me compose this letter, so you know things are serious. I have tried everything in my power, but I have failed. I desperately want a Cabbage Patch Doll, but all my parents will buy me are cheap knock offs from the discount store. I don't care if they are half the price of a real Cabbage Patch Doll, they are faulty. Instead of a signature on their butt cheek it just says Made In China. Their hair is not yarn but unravelled rope. Worse of all, they do not have bellybuttons!! In exchange for a real Cabbage Patch Doll I will leave you my lucky rabbits foot. It worked well in the past when I asked for a raise in my allowance, when I got an A on my spelling test, and when I wished for a snow day. The only time it has failed was for the rabbit.
Thank you for your help with this serious matter.
Susie

Winner:Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: I enjoyed her plea for a Cabbage Patch Doll. I can remember my mother buying me a cheap replica. Devastating.

Singular Store

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

"All _____ All the Time" Grand Opening This Thursday

You are opening a new store that sells only one item. Tell the interviewer what that one item is and why so they can write an article for the newspaper.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/17/10

My store sells memories of loved ones that are no longer with us. It's a magical store where people can not only relive special times with special people, but also say the things they never said, but should have.

Winner: Mike Trippiedi
Reason: I'd sign up for a franchise. I can't think of anything more precious.

Cinderella

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

At the end of Cinderella, the prince slips the glass slipper onto her foot and they live happily ever after.

Or not - write your own ending to the classic story.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/20/10

Oh sure,
At first it was marital bliss.
And I'll admit,
There was more than just one tender kiss.
But things,
Well they began to fall apart
When my prince
Said something that broke my poor heart.
He said,
"Your step sisters sure are fine!"
So I just
Stuck that slipper where the sun don't shine.

Winner: Marc
Reason: Such a "man" way to behave. And written by a man. Even better for making me laugh. And in rhyme? Marc may just be a Prince Charming himself!

Eavesdrop

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



Eavesdrop - what's going on here?

Source: Spaarnestad Photo

We Have A Winner!!! 02/17/10

Congressmen trying to explain the fragmented health care bill to Mr and Mrs. Middle America. It was a spectacular failure!

Winner: Mellodee
Reason: Truth in humor, unfortunately.

Matchmaker

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... Roy has a great working relationship with his coworkers, especially his boss. The problem is that his boss keeps trying to set Roy up with his daughter. The boss's daughter is twenty years younger than Roy and he's certain it could only end in disaster. How does he tell the boss to stop the match-making?

02/20: As of this date, there were only two responses to this cue so no winner will be named. Thanks to Beth and Angel for responding.

Dents

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Leave a note for your parents, explaining that dent in the side of the car.
We Have A Winner!!! 02/15/10

Mom & Dad,

I'm sure that by the time you find this note Dad will have noticed the dent in the driver's side door. Before I explain what happened please know that I'm truly sorry and that I'll find a way to pay for the repairs.

Go ahead and laugh, Dad - I know you are. But I'll get another job and I'll pay. You'll see.

Anyway. You know how I told you guys that Mike and I were going to the movies last night? We actually went to a house party.

I had more to drink than I should have but I figured I could still drive home. I know, stupid right? After all those TV commercials and all those news stories, I still haven't learned.

Anyway, when I was heading for the car Mike noticed I wasn't walking too straight. He said he didn't think I should drive and I got pretty mad at him.

We said some things to each other that are best not repeated and I turned to get in the car. But Mike tackled me from behind and we smashed into the door, leaving that nasty dent you saw.

While we were wrestling on the ground a few other kids from the party came out to help him and got the keys out of my hand. When they finally calmed me down Mike found someone sober enough to drive us home.

I'm really sorry. I'd like to say that was the first time I tried to drive after having a few drinks but it's not. I think I need help but I don't know what to do.

Please help me.

Jason

Winner: Marc
Reason: I thought this entry was very touching. Great job, Marc.

Wildcard: Award Show

Wildcard: This category can be absolutely anything. Absolutely. Anything.

You are in charge of creating a new award show. What industry or group will you choose and why?

We Have A Winner!!! 02/15/10

It is about time that we introduce the "I sure ain't in it for the money" awards - to be nicknamed the Brokes. These would be handed out to the very best in the career fields that are horribly underpaid but that do tremendous service for us every day - fire fighters, police officers, teachers, etc.

Winner: Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: It's about time some of those folks receive recognition on a very regular basis.

Weekend

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

tutor, fourth, equate, regrettably

Tell us about your weekend.

By the way - Beth and Inspired Dreamer are BOTH just one win away from having all seven. And they both are missing Day Two! Don't go easy on them!

We Have A Winner! 02/09/10

"We should have stopped when we had our fourth", I regrettably told my wife on Saturday. In school, they don't teach you how to deal with large families. You don't get a tutor to tell you when you stop when you're ahead. The constant noise, smell and mess my living room has become does nothing but equate a hole in my wall. Not to mention a boxing fracture on my dominant hand. My wife has been crying all day. She said that I am mean and hurt her and the children. All because I can't control my anger.

Who the heck calls cats "their children" anyways?

Winner: Eric
Reason: In addition to including all words in the prescribed scenario, he included a bit of a twist at the end. I do SO love a twist!

Amazon $20 Giveaway Winner

By my calculations, I had 73 entries. Given 1-73, Random.org chose:

#24.

And according to my spreadsheet of entries, that is Ryan Ashley Scott (@ryanashleyscott).

Congratulations to Ryan Ashley Scott! The girl with three names and I never know what to call her so I usually go with RAS. And then I think about raspberries. Not the fruit, the plllllllllllllllbt kind. She also has some sort of magical powers over random.org. So drop me an email with the email address you want the $20 Amazon gift certificate sent to and I'll make it happen!

Stay tuned for more giveaways in the future. The next will probably be based on participation so get in the habit now!

Chicken Playing Chicken

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Chicken plays chicken with drivers on busy street

Write the story behind the headline.

Source

We Have A Winner! 02/09/10

You know the old joke, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" I know one chicken that was going to find out the reason once and for all! He slowly stepped onto the street and was almost hit by a car. Every time he would try to run across the street, some vehicle would try to take him out! He's was so frustrated, he gave up. As he was walking back home, he did find a cross walk, so he decided to give that a try. Apparently, he didn't see where the sign said "Don't Walk" so once again, cars tried to take him out. He gave up, he was NEVER going to make it across the street, so back home he continued. When he arrived home, his neighbors confronted him, "You have so much to live for!" they cried out. He explained that all he was trying to do was find out why the chicken crossed the road. When he finally walked inside, he had left the tv on CNN and they were reporting some chicken was playing chicken with other cars on a busy street. To this day, no one believes him when he tells people that he doesn't know why the chicken crossed the road.

Winner: Silver Star (@silvrstar)
Reason: It's always the simple things that are over-dramatized in the news.

February 1st

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Take a moment to consider the goals you set for 2010. Think of the progress you have made as well as the things you haven't started yet.

Tomorrow is February 1st but let's pretend it's a "take two" of January 1st instead. What would you do differently?

Cue idea submitted by Autumn (@autumn_in_jeans)

We Have A Winner! 02/09/10

I think I would have prepared better for the arrival of the 1st. I had vacation at the end of December but didn't make any huge progress towards setting myself up to really get things started on 1/1. Still, it's taken til 2/1 for me to know what to expect this year so maybe it was ok that January was just about trying to find a routine in which I could somehow get to all the things I need and want to do.

Winner:TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Reason: That seems to be the key for most of us wanting a "take two". Better preparation.

Late Night

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



They've had plenty to say about each other. Now it's your turn to put words in their mouths.

Source: SFGate.com

We Have A Winner! 02/09/10

Conan: "Can you believe the SIZE of his chin??"

Jay: "Can you believe the SIZE of his forehead?"

Winner: SheShe
Reason: Everyone's probably thinking it...

Gaming Husband

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... Her husband works long hours and insists on "unwinding" when he comes home by playing video games until bedtime. When she calls him to the table for dinner, he gulps down his food so he can return to "relaxing after a stressful day". As a result, she feels their relationship is suffering. How can she get his attention?

We Have a Winner!!! 02/09/10

The wife should dress up as his favorite gaming system and suggest "unwinding" with her.

Winner: Isabella
Reason: Dirty!!!

Debt Collector

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Dear (you),
You borrowed $500 from me a year ago and promised to pay it back by the first of January. I haven't seen or heard from you since then. I may be old and hard of hearing but my memory is just fine. Where's my money?

-Aunt Edna

Respond to Aunt Edna with a note of your own.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/09/10

You were serious about wanting it back?! I went on a cruise and stocked up on beer. I mean, when was I ever going to be able to do either of those things, being out of work and all..

Winner: Pamela
Reason: I know a lot of people who operate that way.

Trunk

Now What?: Write what comes next.

"I found this in the trunk of your car. How could you?"

What was in the trunk of your car that caused so much drama?

We Have A Winner!!! 02/03/10

Mom asked me holding up the bag of jeans I'd cut into all shapes and sizes. "I thought your scissors phase was done with your teen years!! These are good pants, Autumn! You can't afford to go around cutting up your jeans!" I tried not to smile because she was really working herself into a tizzy over nothing and didn't realize it.
"If they don't fit you, you could have giving them away. Or sold them at least!"

Finally I couldn't help it anymore and I burst out laughing. "Mom, mom, I love you, but you've got this wrong" I said trying to calm myself down enough to explain. "These are the jeans that no longer fit the kids or me and were way too worn out to give away. I'm using them for quilting and crafting and a few other things." I told her softening my smile a bit. "These aren't the jeans I was telling you about on the phone, these were basically trash to begin with."

I reached into the trunk and pulled out a second bag. "These are the jeans that are in good condition. I was wondering if you would want them."

Winner: Autumn (@autumn_in_jeans)
Reason: Nothing like a good scolding from mom - especially when you can tell her she's wrong!

First Day of School

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

candle, Connecticut, juicy, chair, plaid

Write about the first day of school

We Have A Winner!!! 02/03/10

It was a beautiful fall day. At least it would be if it was Connecticut and not Arizona. For September 4th it was hot. 104 degrees and it was only 8:00 in the morning.
Emily was ready fro her first day of school her plaid uniform skirt and crisp white pressed blouse looked darling on her 5 year old frame. I was packing her snack a ripe juicy pear I wrapped it in a white soft napkin to keep it from bruising and put it in her new pink lunch box. She stood bouncing by the front door waiting for me.

I walked her to the corner with the other moms and girls, all dressed alike. The little girl had all grown up together many had gone to the St. Augustus’ preschool together. Today they all started Kindergarten together. We stood waiting for the bus we would then drive to school and meet them there.

The girls all bounced with excitement Kindergarten was a such a big deal for them. They were so exited to go. The school bus pulled up as I remember it, a brand new bus. The girls got on the bus and waved to us once the were in their seats. The bus driver shut the door. And the girl started to bounce in their seats and face forward. Emily gave me a big smile and waved one more time.

We watched the bus pulled away and then quickly followed Jeanine to her mini-van like the bus it was brand new. Jeanine started the mini-van and went the opposite way It was faster and a straighter shot to take the highway. We got to St. Augustus’ in about 15 minutes the bus would take another 15 or so minutes.

We went to the classroom where other mothers and a few children were waiting. Miss Penfold greeted each of us and made small talk. I remember the first time that she checked her watch. I thought nothing of it. The second time made me wonder if this was the worst day of school for her She asked us to find our child’ chair where she had written their names on a card in such precise way that each child should know how to properly write their name. She talked a little about the day at which point I noticed other parents checking their watches I checked mine it was 8:50. I looked a Jeanine she looked at me in a quizzical manner. Then as I looked at her face fell seeing something behind me. I turned to see the Principal, Sister Alice, standing in the door tears streaming down her face.

To this day I don’t remember what she said I just know the chaos of crying and the police van smelling of vomit taking us to the hospital.

That was six years ago. Jake was born 7 months later. Today he is in Connecticut with his father getting ready for his first day of school. I am sorry to miss it but I needed to be here in Arizona with Jeanine and the others lighting a candle at St. Augustus’ for each of the children that died on the bus when it was hit six years ago today. I take the card that Miss Penfold had written Emily on all those years ago and place it by her candle.

Winner: Vicki
Reason: Such a sad story. Not at all what anyone would expect on the first day of school.

Taco Tossing

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Man gets day in jail for throwing taco at manager

Write the brief article that accompanies this headline.

Source

We Have a Winner!!!

Jeans-o-rama security incident report

McDonald and Wilson reported to the 4th floor of the right wing of the Hooverson Building in response to numerous calls reporting an incident between an employee and management.

Upon arrive, the officers witnessed the employee, a Mr. Chauncey, calmly eating his lunch at his desk while the manager stood nearby, his face and suit covered in ground beef and lettuce.

"What happened here?" asked Wilson.

"HE THREW HIS TACO AT ME!" the manager bellowed.

"Is this true, sir?" McDonald asked of the calm employee. It took him a minute to finish chewing his mouthful but finally responded

"I clearly put up on On Lunch notice sign, just as management requires. Mr. Carter came over here to ask me a question and disregarded my sign. I politely indicated that I was on lunch and I would come to his office as soon as I was done. Mr. Carter WOULD NOT stop talking. He didn't listen to me at all despite his staring at my lunch the whole time. So I picked up one of my tacos, and threw it at him, to get his attention."

Officer Wilson asked Mr. Carter if he'd like Chauncey removed from the premise. He looked down at his stained suit thoughtfully and said "No, no. I still need his help."

Winner: TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Reason: Why do I have a feeling Mr. Chauncey may be an IT tech? They're prone to eating things like tacos and always interrupted during lunch.

$20 Amazon.com Gift Certificate Giveaway!

That's right, time for my first giveaway. Here's how it's going to work. You earn an entry for the following:

1. Follow this blog
2. Post about this blog (leave the link in your comment)
3. Post one of the buttons on your sidebar (leave the link in your comment)
4. Tweet to win (you can use this handy link if you like)

Leave one comment for each of the activities above for up to 4 total entries. You will receive an additional entry for anyone who comments on this post and says that you sent them.

The Prize: I'll email you a $20 Amazon.com Gift Certificate. Or, if you're in Canada/UK/etc, a US $20 equivalent to their Amazon site.

Deadline: The winner will be named next Monday, February 1st, using random.org. If the winner does not claim the prize by Wednesday, February 3rd, I'll draw a new winner.

Fine print: There isn't really any fine print. If random.org chooses an entry I can't verify, I'll draw another winner. Nobody is sponsoring this, unless you count my husband but you can't really count him because he doesn't know. I'm not being compensated in any way. I cannot be bribed with chocolate (in this particular situation).

Broken Egg

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...

Rewrite the nursery rhyme with a new ending.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/01/10

Humpty Dumpty had sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had had a great fall
His friends all laughed and pointed with glee
It's seems ol' Humpty was a jerk, you see

He was always a show off and better than all
Which is exactly what prompted his climb up the wall
Doing a dance and showing his ass
He really did think he was top of the class

But kharma's a bitch and just a bit fickle
It's seems our friend Humpty found himself in a pickle
He teetered and tottered and and bobbled and fell
And he became breakfast for the Farmer in the Dell

Winner: Rabbit (@redheaddancing)
Reason: In other words, pride goeth before a fall?

Jump

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



Why are they jumping?

Source: sxc.hu

We Have A Winner!!! 02/01/10

Four words:

Crazed killer sand crabs.

Winner: Marc
Reason: It's not that they're sand crabs. It's that they're crazed killer sand crabs!

Internet Dating

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... She's been chatting with this guy she met online and they get along really well. They've even talked on the phone. He'd like to meet in person for a drink. The issue? She may have fibbed just a bit about her appearance. Like a decade of years and a couple dozen pounds. What should she do?

We Have A Winner!!! 01/29/10

Call ahead, and say, "I'll be late.
So have a few drinks while you wait!"
A strong shot (or ten)
Before you walk in
Will ensure, in his eyes, you look great.

Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
Reason: It just might work...

Messages

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Write an email to a friend explaining why you haven't been returning his messages.

We Have A Winner!!! 01/29/10

Joe,

I've tried to be nice and let you down easily. I've told you that I am in a committed relationshhip. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I have turned you down for every date you've asked me on. I have turned you down for dinner, a movie, ice skating, a baseball game, visiting your mother, overnight camping, Irish Dancing, bowling, hanging out, and a trip to Paris!!

Don't you get it? There is no future for us. Ever! None!! So please, I'm begging, please stop calling me, stop emailing me, stop trying to get me on Twitter (whatever that is), stop serenading me in the middle of the night, stop sending me letters, and above all, stop calling the Police, telling them I am being held captive!!! I have not been kidnapped. Where I live is my own choice. I am happy. My life and my future are none of your concern.

Besides, your actions are seriously annoying all the other Sisters and Mother Superior is definitely getting snarky.

This is my last message!! LEAVE ME ALONE!

Yours in Christ,

Sister Luminaria

Winner: Mellodee
Reason: It may be irreverent but nuns always crack me up.

Chicken

Now What?: Write what comes next.

The chicken crosses the road...

...you know what to do.

We Have A Winner Two Winners!!! 01/29/10

...early every morning, to visit the handsome duck on the other side. She prays that no one questions her motives.

Winner: Cindy (@GeminiWilder)
Reason: C'mon, that's pretty funny.

He looks at his wife
and says "I figured it out!
Just cross when it's GREEN."

Winner: Inspired Dreamer
Reason: Brilliance, in haiku form. And really, don't you think the chicken would figure it out eventually? Before long, they'll be on the endangered species list if they don't.

Roadtrip

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

cowboy, red, Friday, Wichita

Write about a roadtrip

We Have A Winner!!! 01/29/10

I hadn't been out to a bar on a Friday night in a long time - not since my college days in Witchita. I scanned the room and quickly found what I was looking for. I knew it was him from his description, "I'll be the one in the cowboy hat at the end of the bar." I felt my pulse quicken and my cheeks flush as I approached. All I could muster was a lame attempt at "hey," all the while silently cursing myself for wearing a red turtleneck. I was certain I looked like an awkward tomato.

Our conversation stayed pretty superficial. Under normal circumstances I would have been completely uninterested, but not with this man. We had already established our relationship, even if we had never met in person.

"So, where to next?" He asked with a half smile.

"Well, I've a got a car. Do you have the time?" I was finally finding my confidence again.

He stood up and offered his hand, "I don't know. Should I be traveling with strangers?" he teased.

And so began the road trip I would never forget.

Winner: Isabella
Reason: So very dangerous...

I Have a Dream

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

"I have a dream..."

January 18th is "Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. When he delivered his famous "I Have A Dream" speech in 1963, he was addressing equality for all people. Now, in 2010, what kind of "dream" do we need to rally behind?

Source

We Have A Winner!! 01/25/10

There is a common misinterpretation that Martin Luther King's speech lobbied for equal rights for all. In reality, all but the first "I have a dream" stanza, and the build up to those beautiful passages, specifically sites brotherhood and equality between whites and blacks/ Negros. What should we rally behind then? The essence of his speech. The underlying prose of equality. As long as a group of people are systematically devalued by a characteristic such as race, gender, age, religion, sexual preference, etc, his speech is very much relevant. And humanity will have something to rally behind.

Winner: Heather
Reason: Great responses on this but the win goes to Heather for pointing out the common misconception (including my own) about his speech and for applying it more widely.

Wish Upon a Star

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

When you wish upon a star...

Go for it!

We Have a Winner! 01/25/10

When you wish upon a star, do not be surprised to receive a restraining order for stalking!

Winner: Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: Very good point. And I can say it's true (my apologies to Simon Baker).

Crying

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



Why is he crying?

Source: sxc.hu

We Have A Winner! 01/25/10

He just saw a glimpse of his future where he will lose many more arguments with women.

Winner: SOL
Reason: So many great answers this week! I especially like that as he's wailing away, the little girl is completely oblivious. She truly couldn't care less because, hey, popsicle!

Hostess

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... Her neighbor keeps inviting them over for dinner but she's a horrible cook. It's not just that the food isn't tasty but she's also been served undercooked chicken and moldy bread. She's tried to politely turn down the invitations or invite the neighbors to her house but they insist that they live to host. What should she do?

We Have A Winner!!! 01/25/10

1. Accept the next invitation.
2. Bring her purse.
3. Hide at least three cans of soup in said purse.
4. After every course, she should excuse herself to use the washroom, bringing said purse and said cans of soup with her.
5. Dump one can of soup into the toilet each trip to the bathroom. Accompanying this with loud retching sounds optional.
6. When asked if she's feeling okay, insist that she's fine and really enjoying the meal.
7. Repeat steps 4 through 6 until host sends her home.

If she ever gets another invite after that, there truly is no hope. She'll just have to pretend that she's gone both deaf and blind every time she sees them.

Winner: Marc
Reason: Very creative handling of the situation. I feel a bit bad over the wasting of soup though so maybe you could make sure it's something gross like split pea.

Recommendation

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

A colleague you greatly dislike (both on a personal and professional level) pressures you into writing them a letter of recommendation for a job you know they aren't qualified for.

Write the letter.

We Have A Winner!!!

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to recommend Sally for the position of Executive Assistant.

First and foremost, let me say how generous it is that you are considering her for this position. We haven't allowed her near any staplers since the lunch stealing incident of 2009 (don't worry, Bob is expected to make a full recovery within the next month or so). It's a shame she remembered she left her lunch at home only after the attack. Well, as they say - c'est la vie!
{You may want to stock up on paper clips, just in case}

Sally has displayed nothing but dedication and commitment to her job since she started. Even in the midst of a serious shingles episode, she still made it into work. Bless her heart!

Please feel free to contact me at any time with any further inquiries. However, if you would like to meet in person I have to be assured Sally is not within 300 yards (per the restraining order I have against her).

Regards,

Jane Doe

Winner: Isabella
Reason: This seemed to strike the nice balance or warning without saying anything negative that could lead to a lawsuit. Plus, she used "bless her heart" in just the right way.

Smashing Wedding Cake

Now What?: Write what comes next.

A server trips and falls, smashing the wedding cake into the dance floor in front of the entire crowd.

What does the server do next?

We Have a Winner! 01/20/10

Think, think, think, he told himself. His noses filled with the fragrance of butter cream as he lay on the floor running ideas for damage control through his head.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. He could hear the bridal party's voices begin to rumble angrily. He struggled to right himself on the now cake-covered dance floor when he detected the scent of almonds and it hit him... allergy!

He threw himself back down in the sticky mess with determination and began clutching at his throat and kicking. "I'm allergic to nuts! I'm allergic to nuts!" The wedding guests started to form a circle around the flailing server when the bride's father pushed his way through the crowd and looked sternly at the purplish-blue boy on the ground...

"My daughter is allergic to nuts. There are NO nuts in the cake."

Busted.

Winner: TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Reason: I found myself cheering for our conniving server but I always like a story where the bad guy is caught in the end.

Superhero

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

bird, panties, geranium, scissors

Write about the death of a hero

We Have A Winner!!! 01/20/10

Captain Underpants had a super-hero grandmother nobody knows about. She didn't realize her powers until late in life, hence her super-name, Granny Panties.

Her arch nemesis wore a bird costume and decorated himself with geraniums like a parade float. He was kind of a big kid. She would have seen him speeding down the street if that darn boy scout hadn't hit her up for "helping an old person cross the road" badge.

Rest in peace, Granny Panties.

Winner: Ryan Ashley Scott (@ryanashleyscott)
Reason: I don't even care that she left out 'scissors'. Granny Panties is funny!

Bank Funnies

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Wis. man's bank quip earns him Champion Liar title

What is his bank-related quip?

Source

Winner? 01/20/10

I'm not naming a winner until there are at least 5 responses. Once two weeks go by with no winner, this cue will be open for responses but not considered for the daily award.

NOW We Have A Winner 01/21/10

"I'm telling ya honey, this bank manager really cares about us - it's not just about the money with this guy!"

Winner: Marc
Reason: Because it was funny. And also because he responded after I threw a hissy fit about not having 5 responses. Also, his blog is cool so check it out if you're looking for more writing prompts.

Licks

Wildcard: This category can be absolutely anything. Absolutely. Anything.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a (trademarked lollipop with chocolate inside)?

We Have A Winner!!! 01/17/10

I tried this one day, just for fun.
One hundred licks, and then done.
But can you guess
Who takes a lot less?
For Gene Simmons, it only takes one.

Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
Reason: Beth wins for "Best Use of Tongue". Which sounds way dirtier than I mean.

Argument

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



What is this couple arguing about?

Source: sxc.hu

We Have A Winner! 01/17/10

"Jim, I will not get the Sarah Palin glasses"

"Will too"

"Will not"

"Will too"

"Will not"

Winner: D Gotlib (@dgotlib)
Reason: I wouldn't get the Sarah Palin glasses either.

Daddy Dearest

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... His wife has accused him of visiting "inappropriate" websites on their computer but he knows it was actually his father-in-law that did it based on the timing. His wife will never believe that her father did such a thing. How does he get himself out of hot water without causing an even bigger situation?

We Have A Winner! 01/17/10

Always, always, always- blame the children.

Winner: Sarah @ My Drunk Monkeys
Reason: This is why we need to have children.

Rejection

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

To (you),
We regret to inform you that we are unable publish your article at this time as we found it most inappropriate for our publication.

Finish this rejection letter.

We Have a Winner!!! 01/17/10

Your piece was original and thought provoking and quite frankly one of the best things I've ever read. However, if we were to publish it, then it would encourage other talented writers to bombard us with their stories.

You have to know someone in this business to get ahead and since you don't, then I'm afraid our little private club is off limits to you.

Don't you do your research? To be successful in this business, mediocre is the route to go. Why do all of you writers insist on being original?

I have many friends in the industry and if I were to let you and the other talented writers in the door, then my friends would be out of work and how do you think that would go over?

I have to think of my small little circle, so you can just take your original, thought provoking works and go the self publishing route.

And just between you and me - those are the best books and magazines. And if you market them well, you won't need to be in our private club.

Good luck and happy writing.

Winner: Mike Trippiedi
Reason: Some of the writing I see is so mediocre that this has to be true.

Roses and Violets

Now What?: Write what comes next.

"Roses are red, Violets are blue"

Finish the lovely verse.

We Have A Winner!!! 01/13/10

Roses are roses, violets are not.

"Roses are red, violets are blue",
Overused twaddle and clearly untrue.
Some roses are white, others are pink,
In Texas they're yellow, the worlds biggest, I think.

Violets are odd, with their own special hue,
Violets are violet and definitely not blue.

That sugar is sweet, I have to agree,
But that's where it ends, it seems to me.
The thinking is flawed, the analogy faulty:
Sugar is sweet but you are quite salty.

Winner: J Cosmo Newbery
Reason: I had never thought about it to that degree before but totally correct. And nicely rhymed!

Old Lady

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

door, light, book, caramel, ragweed

Using the words above, what was the old lady across the street doing outside at 2am?

We Have A Winner!!! 01/13/10

The lady who lived
across the street
was watering her flowers
in her caramel colored robe;
She twirled slowly in the light
of the streetlamp
just outside my window.
I watched for a while, a smirk on my lips;
then I put down my book
and walked to the door -
and called out, "You're watering
the ragweed, you whore!"

Winner: Cindy (@GeminiWilder)
Reason: It seemed almost magical and endearing. Until the last line. :)

Shredder

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Times Square shredder offers good riddance to 2009: Scores of New Yorkers and tourists seeking a fresh start in 2010 came to Times Square on Monday to put their bad memories through the shredder at the third annual Good Riddance Day.

A few days late but what would you put through the shredder?

Source

We Have A Winner!!!

I would write down names:
Fear, Doubt, Rejection, Sorrow:
and shred them away.

Winner: Inspired Dreamer
Reason: Those are fantastic things to shred. I'd like to banish them for all of us.

Wizard of Oz

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Write an alternate ending to The Wizard of Oz.

We Have a Winner!! 01/13/10

Dorothy stays in Oz and becomes the new Wizard and finds a fashion coordinator to get her out of that babyish gingham dress! Toto, the ugliest dog in both the fantasy and real worlds, goes back to Kansas with the former Wizard/Professor and annoys the old lady on the bicycle to death. The Prof goes back on the road selling snake oil and illusion. The scarecrow, lion, and tin man open a restaurant in Munchkinland and make a fortune. The flying monkeys and those big ugly soldiers wipe each other out in a battle of who gets the castle. Auntie Em and Uncle Henry struggle to survive without their farm hands, finally give up and sell their farm to a real estate developer and move to Hawaii! And they all live happily ever after.

Winner: Mellodee
Reason: An alternate plan for everyone!

Power Go-Kart

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



What's going on here?

Source: Duracell's Crowdsourced Power Generation in Times Square

We Have A Winner!!! 01/13/10

So I sat in this funky bike chair,
And then next--oh, it just isn't fair!--
I thought I'd be fond
Of this beautiful blonde,
But she's laughing at my awesome hair!

Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
Reason: I've always felt Constantine needed a good shampoo.

Keys

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... She partied a little too hard last night on New Year's Eve and can't seem to remember where she left her keys. Any ideas?

We Have A Winner!! 01/08/10

Well, the only option I have found that worked on a regular basis was to party hard again.

This is factual, and based up on my experience of a pub that I could never find when I lived in Derby, unless I had been drinking. One evening, we went out, we went drinking, we went to said pub, and life was good. The next morning I discovered that I had left my leather jacket at this mysterious pub. I loved that jacket. I scoured the city for the pub. In the end, I went to the Dolphin, had 5 pints, left the Dolphin, found the pub, had another couple and rolled home, with my jacket!

It's not a plan that works for everyone......

Winner: s'me
Reason: It's hard to argue with factual evidence.