So I have this friend... Her neighbor keeps inviting them over for dinner but she's a horrible cook. It's not just that the food isn't tasty but she's also been served undercooked chicken and moldy bread. She's tried to politely turn down the invitations or invite the neighbors to her house but they insist that they live to host. What should she do?We Have A Winner!!! 01/25/10
1. Accept the next invitation.Winner: Marc
2. Bring her purse.
3. Hide at least three cans of soup in said purse.
4. After every course, she should excuse herself to use the washroom, bringing said purse and said cans of soup with her.
5. Dump one can of soup into the toilet each trip to the bathroom. Accompanying this with loud retching sounds optional.
6. When asked if she's feeling okay, insist that she's fine and really enjoying the meal.
7. Repeat steps 4 through 6 until host sends her home.
If she ever gets another invite after that, there truly is no hope. She'll just have to pretend that she's gone both deaf and blind every time she sees them.
Reason: Very creative handling of the situation. I feel a bit bad over the wasting of soup though so maybe you could make sure it's something gross like split pea.
6 comments:
Tell your friend...
Next time you're asked over for food,
It's time to be amazingly rude.
Laugh at the host,
Spit out the roast.
It'll change your neighbors' generous mood!
Move!!
1. Accept the next invitation.
2. Bring her purse.
3. Hide at least three cans of soup in said purse.
4. After every course, she should excuse herself to use the washroom, bringing said purse and said cans of soup with her.
5. Dump one can of soup into the toilet each trip to the bathroom. Accompanying this with loud retching sounds optional.
6. When asked if she's feeling okay, insist that she's fine and really enjoying the meal.
7. Repeat steps 4 through 6 until host sends her home.
If she ever gets another invite after that, there truly is no hope. She'll just have to pretend that she's gone both deaf and blind every time she sees them.
Buy this neighbor a gift certificate for a cooking class for her birthday/kwanzaa/flag day and say "I know you love to cook and entertain. I hope this class gives you more ideas to share with us." Maybe even offer to take the class with her.
Talk to some of the neighbors about having rotating dinners at each of their homes followed by some fun activity. Next invitation by the horrible cook, tell her dinners gave you a great idea. Relate the rotating dinners the neighbors agreed to, giving her credit germinating the fun, and start the rotating dinners at everyone else's house. After several meals seeing how other hostesses do it, and the spirit of competition, maybe she will improve. But as far as moldy break and under cooked chicken, that is a danger to one's health, and I would handle it with honesty, and take her aside and tell her, "I know you don't want to make anyone ill, so I wanted to let you know I found mold on the bread, or my chicken undercooked.".
In the spirit of EWWW GROSS...
Offer to bring the fixin's of your favorite dish to the next dinner party (it's the least you could do after all their hospitality), and insist upon making the meal together.
Show up with a live guinea pig and instructions on how to "clean" it.
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