lawn, robot, yellow, sporkTell us about your first job.
My first real taxable job was as a student aide at the University. No sporks allowed.
We Have A Winner!!! 03/16/10
My first summer job was to cut the grass at a nursing home, in Arizona. It was 99 degrees when I woke up at 8am and I don't particularly care that it was a dry heat because so is a freakin' oven and you don't see people crawling into those for a vacation. My father said I had to work this summer, something about being a spoiled rich brat, but he never said anything about having to do the manual labor myself. So I made a quick trip to Gadgets 'N Things and bought one of those top of the line robotic lawnmowers. I tried to get one in green so it would blend in with the over watered lawn more but all they had was yellow. So I charged that robot up and then set it loose on the perfectly flat and perfectly out of place green lawn in the middle of a desert. As it cut the lawn, I relaxed in the air conditioned rec room of the nursing home. Hey, they have Wii in those places now and I was deep into a bowling battle with some old guy when I heard an old woman screaming about a UFO on the lawn. Oh crap! I dashed into the kitchen to find a group of old ladies gathered around the window watching my bright yellow lawnmower working. I tried to distract them with the awesomeness that is a spork but I failed miserably. Finally the director came in to see what all the fuss was about and I was caught red handed (or yellow roboted). After a call to my father, the robot was confiscated and in punishment I was given an antique push mower - you know the ones that do not have an engine. Apparently the residents are not the only antiques kept there. I earned that check, only to have to turn it over to my father to pay for the robot I put on his charge card. The same robot that now cuts our lawn so he does not have to go out in the heat.Winner: Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: Great scenario crafted with this list of words. Nice job!
10 comments:
http://bleemcguire.blogspot.com/2010/03/seven-days-seven-answers_09.html
Loud yellow robots,
Kids "mowing" the lawn with sporks:
Babysitting sucks.
No yellow lunchmeat and no lawns to mow Most times we didn't see any robots but may have used a spork to spoon the ham salad
We stood on the lawn, my co-workers and I, desperately trying to keep our heels from sinking into the sodden grass. Our table had sunk into the mud so that we had to reach to our mid thighs to pick up the product. None of us were happy standing in our bright yellow uniforms, but we kept our lips curved up and our voices chipper as we showed the wonders of the "spork." Many people stopped by, amused by the idea. It was likely we would earn a good commission, that is if the batteries in the little singing robot at the table next to us died.
I packed potatoes in 5lb bags. It was a job a robot could have done, preferably one in a lawn skirt to fit in with the clientèle. The bags were clear with yellow writing on them, and I used to stand in the back of the shop thinking "All this place needs is one spark, one little spark, and it would all go vooooom!"
I never did it though.
Damn. A dirty screen means I used spark instead of spork. I couldn't have destroyed a whole shop with a spork. That would have taken forever.
I hate my job,
I really do.
If you had it,
so would you.
My boss is an ass,
a really bad fellow.
I'd tell him to his face,
but I'm too darn yellow.
He shouts all the time,
even when he walks.
And every lunch time
he steals my sporks.
I tried taking lunch
outside on the lawn.
But found out they spray
for bugs each day at dawn.
I wish I were a robot
so I wouldn't feel so sad...
Hey, the cute PA smiled at me,
I guess it's not so bad. :-)
I'll never forget my first paycheque. Probably because I still have it - the bank wouldn't accept it due to 'excessive fire damage', so Dad had to make out a second one.
That summer I worked as an assistant in his research lab is one I'll never forget. Dad was putting in crazy long days, fuelled by his desperation to not be remembered only for his first invention. He was hell bent on leaving a more impressive mark in the world and he wasn't afraid to set a few things on fire to make it happen.
He wanted to construct a robot that would cut grass, thereby freeing up hundreds of summer hours for men across the country. I wanted to call it RoboCutter but he was insistent on LawnBot.
Anyway. The day of our initial test came and we stood beneath a clear blue sky in our backyard. Dad fired him up and he set to work - it was truly a beautiful thing to see.
But then LawnBot became self-aware and decided that there was a better way to keep grass short than cutting it over and over.
So he began spraying the lawn with a noxious liquid (we still don't know where he got it) and the grass began to wither and die.
"Sorry Dad," I told him as we watched the green grass turn yellow, "I guess you'll just have to settle for inventing the spork."
My first summer job was to cut the grass at a nursing home, in Arizona. It was 99 degrees when I woke up at 8am and I don't particularly care that it was a dry heat because so is a freakin' oven and you don't see people crawling into those for a vacation. My father said I had to work this summer, something about being a spoiled rich brat, but he never said anything about having to do the manual labor myself. So I made a quick trip to Gadgets 'N Things and bought one of those top of the line robotic lawnmowers. I tried to get one in green so it would blend in with the over watered lawn more but all they had was yellow. So I charged that robot up and then set it loose on the perfectly flat and perfectly out of place green lawn in the middle of a desert. As it cut the lawn, I relaxed in the air conditioned rec room of the nursing home. Hey, they have Wii in those places now and I was deep into a bowling battle with some old guy when I heard an old woman screaming about a UFO on the lawn. Oh crap! I dashed into the kitchen to find a group of old ladies gathered around the window watching my bright yellow lawnmower working. I tried to distract them with the awesomeness that is a spork but I failed miserably. Finally the director came in to see what all the fuss was about and I was caught red handed (or yellow roboted). After a call to my father, the robot was confiscated and in punishment I was given an antique push mower - you know the ones that do not have an engine. Apparently the residents are not the only antiques kept there. I earned that check, only to have to turn it over to my father to pay for the robot I put on his charge card. The same robot that now cuts our lawn so he does not have to go out in the heat.
I mowed lawns with a robot-like mower--
So fast, a Ferrari is slower!
At lunch I ate pork
With a bright yellow spork.
But I quit when my paycheck got lower.
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