Slip a note under your neighbor's door complaining about the noise.
We Have A Winner!!! 02/20/10
Dearest Neighbor,Winner: Pamela
You know you're loud. You know you're annoying. And I know what I know. What is that you ask? I have friends in all the "right" places. Friends who will help me "hide the body". Don't even think of using this note as blackmail, it's untraceable.
Do. The. Right. Thing.
Yours Truly,
Your Worst Possible Nightmare
Reason: Nothing says neighborly like a nice threat!
P.S. Have a great day!
5 comments:
Dear Residents of Apartment X,
While you may be at home, awake around 1 pm, some of your neighbors are trying to sleep at this time. We do not wish to be woken daily by your need to blast the tv through your speakers at loud volumes. Please do not yell at your roommate, the "fat f***" that their coffee is ready, we do not need to know this. Please do not throw your tv down the stairs at 2 am, you woke up my roommate, who sleeps at night. I realize neither of you work, and you don't own a car, but I know you must sleep sometime, when?
(While I never wrote this note out to any of my neighbors, everything written above really did occur for one in particular)
Dear Neighbor,
Along with this note I have included a can of oil. Use it on your bed springs. From what I hear every night I don't think you have to worry about going blind.
Dearest Neighbor,
You know you're loud. You know you're annoying. And I know what I know. What is that you ask? I have friends in all the "right" places. Friends who will help me "hide the body". Don't even think of using this note as blackmail, it's untraceable.
Do. The. Right. Thing.
Yours Truly,
Your Worst Possible Nightmare
P.S. Have a great day!
When you moved upstairs, you said you liked tap.
I thought you meant draft beer, and then--oh, crap!
Please, can't you loose
The metal-toed shoes?
Stop all the stompin'! I just want a nap!
Dear Neighbor,
I understand that you do not believe in birth control, and thus you have spawned seven children under the age of six. The last set of twins are really cute, it is like screaming in surround sound. I would like to commend whoever managed to find authentic Dutch wooden shoes for all 5 of the walking children, and I would also like their name and address so I can send them a little something special. I can handle the constant blaring of cartoons all day and night, and the relentless screaming and fighting. But could you please find another way to time dinner besides the smoke detector? I know the local fire fighters are attractive, but I work midnights and try to catch some sleep before heading in to work. Besides, Seven is enough - you don't need to find another Baby Daddy.
Sincerely,
Sleepless in 7A
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