Happy Birthday, Chuck NorrisChuck Norris turned 70 last Thursday, March 10. Write a brief story about his birthday party.
We Have A Winner!!! 03/24/10
Unfortunately, one-time actor and all-time ass-hat Chuck Norris passed away last Thursday at his own 70th birthday party.Winner: JazzBumpa
His tea-bagger friends brewed up a spa-sized mug, but Chuck had previously downed a 64 oz blender full of vodka and whole bananas, mistaking ir for a fruit smoothie.
Thus impaired, Chuck tumbled over the rim, and refusing help, because - well he's CHUCK NORRIS, doncha know, drowned.
He nearly succeeded in returning from the dead, but could not overcome the rejection of the ObamaKare Death Panel.
RIP Chuck. You're gone but not missed!
Reason: Hmm, methinks perhaps Mr. Bumpa is not a fan of Mr. Norris?
6 comments:
http://bleemcguire.blogspot.com/2010/03/mellow-yellow-monday-ruby-tuesday-seven.html
There once was a man named Chuck
And for his birhtday he got a duck.
When the duck did quack
No echo came back.
Oh boy does this poem ever suck!
Actor and fundamentalist nutjob Chuck Norris surprised a crowd gathered to celebrate his 70th birthday by announcing that he was in fact 170 years old. "My whole-hearted faith in Our Lord and His Word (i.e. the Bible) has restored me to True Health as Our Father intended it." A small group of women lead by Norris' wife cheered at the declaration. Half the crowd snickered and shook their heads while the others promptly dispersed, heads down, not wanting to be seen at such an odd gathering. As Norris continued his soapboxing, I was approached by a man who motioned for my attention. At the promise of anonymity the man hissed in a thick cockney accent, "Health, my ass. That's human growth hormone and viagra what's keeping that bastard alive." He proceeded to tell me that he was Norris' supplier and had "pinched his cheeks and sunk the needle" himself. Over the course of an hour, Mr G told me the full story of Chuck Norris' "health."
It took me a few months but I was able to corroborate everything Mr. G had said. I wrote an expose which got me a book deal which got me out off the stupid local celebrity event beat and into my own condo in Miami. I never have to work again! THANKS, Chuck Norris!
Sorry about the deleted post. i was having a lot of odd formatting problems and finally gave up. If you would like to read this entry (and anything else on my blog), please go to:
http://writersblock-heather.blogspot.com/2010/03/chucks-b-day.html
This link should take you to that story specifically. You should be able to get to everything else using the archive links.
Unfortunately, one-time actor and all-time ass-hat Chuck Norris passed away last Thursday at his own 70th birthday party.
His tea-bagger friends brewed up a spa-sized mug, but Chuck had previously downed a 64 oz blender full of vodka and whole bananas, mistaking ir for a fruit smoothie.
Thus impaired, Chuck tumbled over the rim, and refusing help, because - well he's CHUCK NORRIS, doncha know, drowned.
He nearly succeeded in returning from the dead, but could not overcome the rejection of the ObamaKare Death Panel.
RIP Chuck. You're gone but not missed!
Cheers!
JzB
He invited all the big names--he wanted to quell
Any doubts that he's superior. Oh, did he do well!
He beat up Jack Bauer,
Stole Superman's power,
And proved that he could curse more than Rahm Emmanuel.
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