A server trips and falls, smashing the wedding cake into the dance floor in front of the entire crowd.What does the server do next?
We Have a Winner! 01/20/10
Think, think, think, he told himself. His noses filled with the fragrance of butter cream as he lay on the floor running ideas for damage control through his head.Winner: TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. He could hear the bridal party's voices begin to rumble angrily. He struggled to right himself on the now cake-covered dance floor when he detected the scent of almonds and it hit him... allergy!
He threw himself back down in the sticky mess with determination and began clutching at his throat and kicking. "I'm allergic to nuts! I'm allergic to nuts!" The wedding guests started to form a circle around the flailing server when the bride's father pushed his way through the crowd and looked sternly at the purplish-blue boy on the ground...
"My daughter is allergic to nuts. There are NO nuts in the cake."
Busted.
Reason: I found myself cheering for our conniving server but I always like a story where the bad guy is caught in the end.
7 comments:
Shouts out a "Tah-Dah!", bows, and then wonders outloud if he'll get any style points.
As the cake slides off the table and into a gooey mess on the dance floor, a huge gasp fills the room. Everyone freezes exactly where they are and the band sputters to a halt. After a moment of shocked silence, the bride lifts up the skirts of her lovely gown, tiptoes through the remains to where the cake topper landed. She picks up the topper and a handful of cake. As she turned around to face her family and friends, she breaks into a huge smile, tosses the handful of cake toward her new husband and yells, "Food Fight!!" And the game was on!
Those who were there said it was the best wedding they'd ever been to!
All except the clumsy waiter, of course, who was fired on the spot, because that is, after all, what happens in real life!
Gets up and runs like hell because the bride, Quoiesha, has ripped off her weave and is running at him in a barefooted full sprint, David Sale Bargain Bin train billowing behind her like Supercrack's cape.
"I tols you you better not wreck my weddin' you narrow assed punk. Immuna whoop your — "
And she slips in the mangled cake. Landing firmly on her ample bottom and sliding passed the terrified server right out the door of the reception hall, plunk-frunk-thwunking down the steps into the pouring rain.
After recovering from his life flashing before his eyes in a flurry of polyester, the server takes this as his cue to leave.
And makes a hasty exit!
Rabbit: "I tols you you better not wreck my weddin' you narrow assed punk. Immuna whoop your — "
Whoa.
Dave’s heart dropped to his gut as the cake slid off the serving table. He knew there was no making this right. His grandma had always said “crazy” can get you out of a lot of things. The only crazy people he knew were religious zealots. He threw his body down and rolled in the mess, screaming, “Take! Eat! This is my body!” Somebody really should have told him all the honored guests were cannibals.
Think, think, think, he told himself. His noses filled with the fragrance of butter cream as he lay on the floor running ideas for damage control through his head.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. He could hear the bridal party's voices begin to rumble angrily. He struggled to right himself on the now cake-covered dance floor when he detected the scent of almonds and it hit him... allergy!
He threw himself back down in the sticky mess with determination and began clutching at his throat and kicking. "I'm allergic to nuts! I'm allergic to nuts!" The wedding guests started to form a circle around the flailing server when the bride's father pushed his way through the crowd and looked sternly at the purplish-blue boy on the ground...
"My daughter is allergic to nuts. There are NO nuts in the cake."
Busted.
Steven the server was always a flake.
Coffee he'd spill; dishes he'd break.
When the tiers hit the ground,
He passed forks all around,
And called with a smile, "Let them eat cake!"
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