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The condensed directions: Read the cue, react to the cue. There's no right answer, no research required. I cite sources where applicable but it's all about coming up with creative answers. Winners are picked in a week.

The number one rule? Have FUN!!!

05/23 - I'll be naming final winners this week!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.
Write a letter giving yourself instructions for the new year.

We Have Some Winners! 01/07/09
Winner: Everyone who participated. Autumn (@autumn_in_jeans), C. Beth (@cbethblog), Inspired Dreamer, Mellodee, @ReligionBites (@ReligionBites), s'me, Shirley, Silver Star (@silvrstar), Tom
Reason: I just loved this prompt and all of the responses so much. I hope we all stay true to our letters this year.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Now What?: Write what comes next.
At the local grocer, you see an elderly woman shoplift bacon.
What do you do?

We Have A Winner!! 01/07/09
Hide, because goodness knows what she'll do with those Sausages. When you get old like that, you need all the thrills you can get.
Winner: WeeSally (@WeeSally)
Reason: Hide indeed. And who am I to deny an old woman some joy in her life?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Winter Memory

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.
train, sofa, skim, picnic, satellite
Write about a winter memory.

We Have A Winner!! 01/07/09
Train travel sure isn't what it used to be. The seats are no longer as comfy as my sofa. Instead of a classy dining car, all you can get to eat is a cold picnic box lunch with lukewarm skim milk. And worst of all the train only stops at out-of-the way satellite stations on alternate Tuesdays!
Winner: Mellodee
Reason: Travel by train sounds beautiful during the winter. Even if the milk islukewarm.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Tiger Snack

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.
Man Jailed For Eating Rare Tiger
What happened?


We Have A Winner!!! 01/05/10
I was going to post a witty comment about how it is illegal to eat rare tiger, because it should at least be cooked to medium. But then I saw the comment above me and immediately felt defeated.
Winner: Jessica (@poisongrl)
Reason: Don't doubt yourself. That's FUNNY!

Sunday, December 27, 2009


Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

If you do not change direction...
Finish this quote from Lao-Tzu.

We Have a Winner!!! 01/05/10
If you don't change direction from here to there,
Or change all the things for which you care,
And then if you find
That you don't change your mind,
Change just this one thing every day--underwear
Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
Reason: I'm generally able to "live and let live" when it comes to beliefs. But I'm less forgiving when it comes to dirty underwear.

Saturday, December 26, 2009


A Thousand Words: Photo day!

There it is! It's that one gift you kept hoping to open but it never came. What's inside?

Source: Stock.XCHNG - Free Stock Photos

Time for a Winner!!! 01/02/10
On a positive note, the only thing I needed that I didn't get was underwear. I always get underwear! I've lost a few pounds and mine keep falling down. It's uncomfortable. So of course since I need them, I didn't get any.

It's a good Christmas when not getting underwear is the biggest problem. Still, I'd like to go a day without sneaking off to the bathroom to pull them back up. TMI?
Winner: Ryan Ashley Scott (@ryanashleyscott)
Reason: Of all the missing gifts, your request was the most manageable. And I'm tired of seeing you pull up your panties when you think nobody's looking. Yeah, I saw that.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Imaginary Friend

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.
So I have this friend... Growing up, she didn't have many friends nearby so she used her imagination to create friends. She's now thirty and recently confided in me that she still talks to her imaginary friends. Is this normal? What should I tell her?

P.S. Merry Christmas to my friends out there who are celebrating today!

Winner Time! 01/02/10
Listen, I've been meaning to talk to you about your imaginary friend for quite some time now. At first I thought it was harmless and that it would pass. Until now.

This has become a much more serious issue and I'm afraid it must be dealt with. How serious? It interrupts my work day. It interferes with my meals. It keeps me awake at night. It even gets in the way of "intimate moments".

You see, now your friend is talking to me!
Winner: Hank
Reason: If the imaginary friend is now talking to others, it's beyond time to take action.

Thursday, December 24, 2009


Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.
Write a quick note of appreciation to someone who makes your life easier.
We Have A Winner!!! 12/31/09
To My Outstanding Wife:

Just wanted to say Thank You for doing such a great job at looking after me.

Because of you my clothes are neatly pressed, the house is always clean, every meal is far better than the last, and your closeness and caring cannot be surpassed.

If you were not married, and I was not married, I would put you at the top of my list. I am proud to call you my wife.
Winner: Tom
Reason: Awww... That last line I do believe may be the secret to a long happy marriage.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

MIL Gift

Now What?: Write what comes next.
I can't believe my mother-in-law gave me a...
What did your mother-in-law give you? (I'm thinking holiday gifty)

Winner Time! 12/31/09
I can't believe my MIL gave me....

$825.00!! Wow! Unfortunately, it was in the form of a check for $25.00 each Christmas for 33 YEARS! That's all, ever....just a check for $25.00 a year.

[sadly, this is a true story]
Winner: Mellodee
Reason: I can totally relate to this. My entire batch of in-laws abides by such token gifts. I even have a post in draft mode over at ShowMyFace about it.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.
robot pink turkey styrofoam
Leave a treat for Santa.

Winner Time! 12/31/09
Silently, stealthily, Santa falls down the chimney, landing on the pile of styrofoam my son has placed there, so Santa doesn't get hurt. His face is all pink, and his nose is red. He leaves the robot under the tree, ready for the child to find in the morning, then sits in the chair by the fire. There is a mincepie, a milk drink, and a note. "Dear Santa, please put the oven on at 200 degrees, or the turkey will never cook!"

Santa obliges, then zips up the chimney to carry on his Important Night.
Winner: s'me
Reason: I love a man who will help with dinner.

Monday, December 21, 2009


In the News: This category features news-related prompts.
Grinch steals holiday decorations
Grinch dims holiday lights display
Grinch vandalizes church Nativity
This time of year, it seems the Grinch is blamed for everything. Find someone else to blame in holiday-related news stories.

Winner Time! 12/31/09
Rowdy Reindeer games lead to accidental sleighing of elves.
Winner:Angel Zapata (@AngelZapata)
Reason: Those Reindeer games have always been suspicious.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Night Before Christmas

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Rewrite the classic line. (Not the whole poem, though you're certainly welcome to if you're feeling inspired.)

Winner! Winner!!! 12/30/09
'Twas the week before Christmas
And I looked at my list

And realized how much
Of it I have dissed.

Food & gifts to be bought
A letter to complete

My to do list this weekend
Will be a small feat

But no fear over here
Because I have a plan

It will all be done
before Santa Claus lands.
Winner: Dellits
Reason: Such a great modern day update to the classic

Saturday, December 19, 2009


A Thousand Words: Photo day!

Why is this guy so tired?

Source: Stock.XCHNG - Free Stock Photos

A Winner! 12/30/09
This guy is not tired. He's playing charades. He's a pig with an apple in its mouth.
Winner: Mike Trippiedi
Reason: I should've known. (Also, I laughed.)

Friday, December 18, 2009

Secret Santa

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.
So I have this friend... He needs to buy a holiday gift for his boss with a limit of $20. It's widely known that his boss is an incompetent jerk and everybody else was relieved that they didn't draw his name for Secret Santa. Any suggestions?
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner 12/30/09
Just go to Target:
A Digital Photo Frame
(with the instructions).
Winner: Inspired Dreamer
Reason: This was fictional but my boss is a Computer Services manager. The idea of specifically making sure the tech gift comes with instructions won me over.

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.
Write your Christmas letter to Santa.

And The Winner Is... 12/30/09
Dear Santa,

Earth's warming; I could ask you to fix her.
Or I could beg for a long-life elixir.
But would it be worth
Living long on this earth
Without a black Cuisinart mixer?
Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
Reason: Because I said so. And screw global warming, we need THINGS!!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Wildcard: World's Worst

Wildcard: This category can be absolutely anything. Absolutely. Anything.
World's Worst Gift Wrapper
Tell us about the "skills" required to win this title. (suggested by Inspired Dreamer)

Winner?!?! (12/30/09)
I'm going to declare myself the winner of this one for coercing Beth and Mike into a limerick-off. Go me!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.
grill, purple, bourbon, blanket, soccer
Describe a holiday tradition.

Time For A Winner! (12/22/09)
Not very well known outside of a small unpronouncible town in North Wales, there is a traditional New Year's game called "Purple-Blanket Soccer". It is played just after the stroke of Midnight on New Year's eve, after consuming an enormous number of rounds of grilled sausages followed by hot bourbon toddies. The game is played by nearly naked teams. Unfortunately no one actually knows the rest of the rules of this game, mostly because the players can never agree on what they are, as they are too drunk to remember from year to year. The pre-game disagreement always ends up in a huge fight with many bloody noses, etc. The game is sponsored by the local pub, which provides purple blankets and more bourbon to the chilled survivors... ahh...that is...the players (after the melee is sorted out) to ward off hypothermia. There is no record of any game ever having been completed. Nevertheless, it is played every year because it is TRADITION!
Winner: Mellodee
Reason: I saw sausages. And this totally sounds like a tradition gone very wrong but nobody dares to stop it.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Late Library Return

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.
Book returned to Ohio library after 60 years
What was the book and why did they keep it so long?

Source: Original story

Winner! (12/21/09)
The book is "War and Peace," and they haven't returned it yet because they are still reading it. Should be about half-way done by now, though.
Winner: Mike Trippiedi
Reason: I'll admit I've never read "War and Peace" but I always find myself wondering if it's equally divided. 50% war and 50% peace. I find peace often ends up short-changed.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

My Mom

Wildcard: This category can be absolutely anything. Absolutely. Anything.
Well, my mom says....
What does your mom say?

Submitted by Tom

Very Important Winner Announcement! (12/21/09)
I love you, I'm proud of you, and for your own good, NO you are not having that. You're lovely when you smile (usually as I was stomping around!)

My mother is great. (She doesn't say that - I do!)
Winner: s'me
Reason: It amused me that she felt the need to clarify that it was not her mother speaking in the end. Plus, those are great things for a mother to say. I may be jealous.

Saturday, December 12, 2009


A Thousand Words: Photo day!

What was this person counting?

Source: Stock.XCHNG - Free Stock Photos

We Have a Winner!!! (12/19/09)
It's Santa's rough tally of the naughty list. The elves were doing inventory on how much coal they needed to get....
Winner: Lady J
Reason: That's a lot of coal!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Escape Kitty

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.
So I have this friend... Despite feeling slighted that her future in-laws refused to include her on the family vacation, she offered to take care of their cat while they were all away. However, the cat darted out the door the very first time she went over to feed him. She searched and called kitty's name for hours but he has not returned. Everyone is due back from vacation tomorrow. What should she tell them?

P.S. This is a "replacement" category for Storytime. Let's give it a try and see how it goes. If you have a friend in need of advice, please submit it here.

We have a Winner! (12/19/09)
If your cat liked you,
He'd have come back already.
Try being nicer.
Winner: Inspired Dreamer
Reason: Short, sweet and to the point. And haiku!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Hit and Run

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.
Leave a note on a windshield apologizing to a stranger for hitting their car.

We have a Winner! (12/19/09)
Please apolgize for me to the driver of the car parked next to you that I accidentally hit. Much appreciated.
Winner:TM (@trmink)
Reason: I'm totally trying this next time I hit someone's car! I mean, not that I've ever done that. Or ever will. Just, you know, in case.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I'm Proud

Now What?: Write what comes next.
Most people would be embarrassed but not me! I'm proud...
Finish the statement.

Time for a Winner (12/19/09)
I made a pan of brownies last night
And the minute I took the first bite
I said, "If I can,
I'll eat the WHOLE PAN."
I did it--'twas a wonderful sight!
Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
Reason: That would be embarrassing. I loved Tom's response too but he should stand tall and proud for that one. No embarrassment required! Beth, on the other hand...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.
cowbell, floor, airplane, dictionary
Make up an excuse for calling in sick to work.

Winner time!!! (12/19/09)
I really hate to do this to you, but I can't make it into work today. You are never going to believe what happened.
So, last night Jeff and I are playing scrabble and he plays the word 'cowbell'. And that reminds me of the time my cousin Ollie chased me around the farm with a cowbell, trying to get me to run into some cow patties.
Then that reminded me of the time my other cousin Ernest tried to stuff me in the pig trough because I made fun of his lisp.
Then Jeff says I'm such a hillbilly and I say no and he says 'oh yeah?'
and I say 'yeah'
and he says 'if you look up the word hillbilly in the dictionary, there would be your family tree - all one branch of it'
and I say 'haha at least my family has character' and well the argument just continued until he got fed up with it and decided to airplane me.
You know, lift me up on his feet and fly me like an airplane?
But, he wasn't really paying attention and lost his grip. And that's when I went flying facefirst into the floor. I would've hit the floor and probably knocked myself out had it not been for Jeff's skateboard.
As it were, I hit the skateboard which rolled me into the counter where my face unfortunately made contact with the waffle maker we had just been using that had not yet cooled off. I now have a very distinctive waffle patterned burn on my left forehead. There is just no way I can face the public until it heals.
I hope you understand. And don't worry, I have already banned scrabble on work nights so that this won't happen again.
Winner: Taylorvillegirl (@GirlyBitzGirl)
Reason: This is exactly the kind of long, drawn-out excuse that pushed our boss into implementing an automated system.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Death By Moose

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.
Police Suspect Moose Killed Woman
Write the short report that accompanies this headline in the local paper.

Source: Only in Sweden?

We Have a Winner!!! (12/14/09)
Former Ms. Transylvania Natasha Fatale was found dead last week, victim of a sudden and unexpected explosion. Forensic reports identified moose hairs and squirrel droppings near the scene of the crime, along with fragments of an oversized alarm clock.

Frostbite Falls Police have issued an all points bulletin for Wossamatta U. alumnus Bullwinkle J. Moose and his close associate Rocky J. Squirrel.

Natasha is survived by her fiance, Boris Badenov. When reached for comment, Badenov claimed Natasha's death was "all because of moose and squirrel."
Winner: notgordion
Reason: SO many great entries this time, I wanted to give you all an award. But "moose and squirrel" hold a special place in my cartoon-loving heart.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
Rewrite this line which is often mistaken for the USPS Creed. (They have no official motto or creed.)

Time for a Winner!!! (12/14/09)
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the completion of their appointed rounds; but it sure might slow 'em down!
Winner: Mellodee
Reason: Her version would be "truth in advertising".

Saturday, December 5, 2009


A Thousand Words: Photo day!

Before he was homeless, what was this man's life like?

Source: Stock.XCHNG - Free Stock Photos

Winner (12/14/09)
You see me on the corner and look the other way
The harsh truth of my life might diminish your day
You don't want to see me, to admit I am here
Or acknowledge you are as close as 1 tragedy near
I am faceless to you, a soulless hollow shell
But I once had a life beyond this wretched hell
I look at the photo of my little girl each night
And remember the hero I was in her sight
She would stand on my shoes and together we'd dance
Back when I had hope, and dreams, and a chance
I still wear the ring from my bride of 25 years
A symbol of all of the laughter and all of the tears
She deserves so much better than what I can do
When you love someone their needs must come before you
I was a success, I once made her proud
You never would have picked me out of a crowd
Then our baby got sick and the factory shut down
There was not another job I could find in this town
Unemployment checks, welfare, day after day
I tried but we could not survive this way
The house was forclosed, the car repossessed
We sold what we had and the bank took the rest
Now my family lives in spare rooms and on the floor
I desperately long to provide them something more
I could not watch the pain in their eyes day by day
So out here I came to try to survive, make a way
My spirit is broken, my life fallen around me
But another failure, a wino is all that you see
Not a father, a husband, a son and a brother
Just one of many, a lost cause, another
I am you fears in flesh blood and bone
To see me would cause you to need to atone
So in the shadows I live with my memories and hopes that remain
Of the man that I once was and desperately long to regain
Winner: Bethany (Auburnrose)
Reason: I decided to post this cue after watching a man on the street being treated in a very inhumane manner. I wanted people to pause and think about the fact that these are people, just like you and me. Bethany captured a lot of those thoughts.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday Category

A couple of weeks ago, I took a poll. It confirmed what I think I already knew - people weren't big fans of the Friday Storytime cue. Not really a shock - participation was always low.

Last week, I used a Wildcard entry on Friday. But now I have the task before me of assigning a new ongoing category to Friday.

So today's Friday question is: What should the new Friday cue category be?

The best suggestion I've heard so far is to have Friday be an advice column. I'd pose question or situation, you would respond with advice.

If you'd rather leave suggestions anonymously for whatever reason, I've set up a Stixy board that will allow you to leave a post-it note for suggestions.

Please, however you do it, let me know what you think. I've got a week to figure it out before next Friday's cue is due for posting!

There may be a winner, there may be no winners. There may be a poll, there may be a dictatorship. There may be cake! I'll keep you posted.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Holiday Luncheon

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.
Write a letter informing your employees of the holiday luncheon cancellation.
Winner Time! (12/10/09)
Dear Employees,

Every year this company has had a holiday party to thank you for the past years work. However, every year this party is poorly attended. And the employees that do show up, usually just complain.

We have decided to save money this year and not throw the party. I know that most of you don't care and for you others...well, at least you still have something to complain about.

The Management
Winner: Mike Trippiedi
Methodology: It's 100% true. Our company luncheon is next Wednesday and that's exactly how it works - complain if you go, complain if it's cancelled.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

In Your Desk

Now What?: Write what comes next.
"I found this in your desk. You're fired!"
Explain why this is in your desk and why you shouldn't be fired for it.

Time for a Winner! (12/10/09)
Boss: "I found this in your desk. You're fired!"

Employee: "You can't fire me based on my religion. And anyway, it's just a voodoo doll. It doesn't mean anything, it's just a stress reliever."


E: "How do you know that's you? There are millions of people named Snordgren. You don't know."

B: "Do you think I'm stupid?!"

E: "If you're so worried about the doll, you must believe in maybe you should consider stopping your yelling and going back to your office. I have my own work to do."

B: "I, um.. um... (crosses himself) we'll talk about this later."

E: "I thought so."
Winner: TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Why: She always comes up with such great names. Snordgren? Plus I think throwing around the whole discrimination idea is a great way to get someone off your back with that pesky threat or termination.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.
martini, chicken, cross, house, points, granola
Give some advice to newlyweds.

Winner Announcement! (12/08/09)
Wow, nice house you two have. Bet it set you guys back a few bucks. But what the hell, its only money. My ex-wife got our house, and I got the payments. I call it paying for your education.

I don't claim to be a "know it all", but, I have been married three times, and would like to give you two a few words of advice, so you don't fall into the same traps I did.

First can I have another martini? By the way that chicken dip is fantastic, its espically good with the granola crackers. You don't have any cheese do you?

Antways, Mary, that is a pretty red dress you have on, and that sparkling cross really sets it off nicely. Did you buy that dress new? John, you always look so relaxed in a t-shirt and shorts, too bad you can't go to work that way.

Anyways, to the points I would like to give you two. One, never go to bed angry, two, keep your credit card spending to a minimum, and three, in your first few years of marriage limit the guests that you have. You guys need the alone time to get to know eachother. Believe me, I have been down this road, and know what"s infront of you. If you work at it, your marriage will make it. Burp!

Can I have another martini?
Winner: Tom
Method of Selection: I can just imagine Tom, after a few martinis, doing one of those video messages for the bride and groom.