Write an email to a friend explaining why you haven't been returning his messages.
We Have A Winner!!! 01/29/10
Joe,Winner: Mellodee
I've tried to be nice and let you down easily. I've told you that I am in a committed relationshhip. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I have turned you down for every date you've asked me on. I have turned you down for dinner, a movie, ice skating, a baseball game, visiting your mother, overnight camping, Irish Dancing, bowling, hanging out, and a trip to Paris!!
Don't you get it? There is no future for us. Ever! None!! So please, I'm begging, please stop calling me, stop emailing me, stop trying to get me on Twitter (whatever that is), stop serenading me in the middle of the night, stop sending me letters, and above all, stop calling the Police, telling them I am being held captive!!! I have not been kidnapped. Where I live is my own choice. I am happy. My life and my future are none of your concern.
Besides, your actions are seriously annoying all the other Sisters and Mother Superior is definitely getting snarky.
This is my last message!! LEAVE ME ALONE!
Yours in Christ,
Sister Luminaria
Reason: It may be irreverent but nuns always crack me up.
7 comments:
Dear Joe Johnson,
I used to know a guy named Joe Johnson, so when you asked to be my friend on Facebook I just assumed I knew you. With each message you send me, I am more convinced that we have never met. Are you sure I'm the same Bob Smith that you think I am?
Hi Kath,
Thanks for all the offers to hang out. Sorry I haven't been able to call you back or join you on any of the night out activities. They sound like a lot of fun!
Having a new born has changed my life greatly! Did you know she will be a month in two days? (I can't believe how fast time has flown already.)She has started to smile for reasons other than gas. It's great to see. You should stop by sometime, but call first!
Anyway, be patient with me and PLEASE keep me in mind for future events, even if you don't hear back from me.
Your Bu,
Heather
Dear MiL,
I haven't been returning your messages because I am very cranky at you right now.
You put yourself through the same torment over and over and over and when you think you've had enough you come to my house.
I, of course, not wanting you to ever have to deal with that crap again, allow you to stay at my house until you can find your own place. Then, OUT OF THE BLUE you go back to the mess you came from.
You come to my place and use me as a pit stop until you're over your crankiness and then you go back and we all know you'll be back at my house next year with the same problems.
Get over it! I'm tired of being the pit stop and I'm tired of seeing you deal with this all the time.
This is why I haven't answered your messages, because I KNOW you don't want to hear what I have to say.
Sincerely,
Dazed and Confused!
(Thanks! I really needed that!)
Joe,
I've tried to be nice and let you down easily. I've told you that I am in a committed relationshhip. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I have turned you down for every date you've asked me on. I have turned you down for dinner, a movie, ice skating, a baseball game, visiting your mother, overnight camping, Irish Dancing, bowling, hanging out, and a trip to Paris!!
Don't you get it? There is no future for us. Ever! None!! So please, I'm begging, please stop calling me, stop emailing me, stop trying to get me on Twitter (whatever that is), stop serenading me in the middle of the night, stop sending me letters, and above all, stop calling the Police, telling them I am being held captive!!! I have not been kidnapped. Where I live is my own choice. I am happy. My life and my future are none of your concern.
Besides, your actions are seriously annoying all the other Sisters and Mother Superior is definitely getting snarky.
This is my last message!! LEAVE ME ALONE!
Yours in Christ,
Sister Luminaria
Hey Future you,
Sorry I havent been able to get back to you, the internet connection on the Cylon ship has been spotty at best lately.
Warp speed messes with the WiFi.
I'll be back in Orbit in a month or two, lets get together at the Cantina for a drink.
Future WeeSally
I never liked you,
but you had a sexy car;
I've got my own now.
How simple is the point I'm going to make!
I'll just be frank, though your heart might break.
Dude, you're a bore.
So I walked out the door.
We broke up; it's not just a break!
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