Write an email to a friend explaining why you haven't been returning his messages.
We Have A Winner!!! 01/29/10
I've tried to be nice and let you down easily. I've told you that I am in a committed relationshhip. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I have turned you down for every date you've asked me on. I have turned you down for dinner, a movie, ice skating, a baseball game, visiting your mother, overnight camping, Irish Dancing, bowling, hanging out, and a trip to Paris!!
Don't you get it? There is no future for us. Ever! None!! So please, I'm begging, please stop calling me, stop emailing me, stop trying to get me on Twitter (whatever that is), stop serenading me in the middle of the night, stop sending me letters, and above all, stop calling the Police, telling them I am being held captive!!! I have not been kidnapped. Where I live is my own choice. I am happy. My life and my future are none of your concern.
Besides, your actions are seriously annoying all the other Sisters and Mother Superior is definitely getting snarky.
This is my last message!! LEAVE ME ALONE!
Yours in Christ,
Reason: It may be irreverent but nuns always crack me up.