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The condensed directions: Read the cue, react to the cue. There's no right answer, no research required. I cite sources where applicable but it's all about coming up with creative answers. Winners are picked in a week.

The number one rule? Have FUN!!!

05/23 - I'll be naming final winners this week!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Rejection

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.
To (you),
We regret to inform you that we are unable publish your article at this time as we found it most inappropriate for our publication.
Finish this rejection letter.

We Have a Winner!!! 01/17/10
Your piece was original and thought provoking and quite frankly one of the best things I've ever read. However, if we were to publish it, then it would encourage other talented writers to bombard us with their stories.

You have to know someone in this business to get ahead and since you don't, then I'm afraid our little private club is off limits to you.

Don't you do your research? To be successful in this business, mediocre is the route to go. Why do all of you writers insist on being original?

I have many friends in the industry and if I were to let you and the other talented writers in the door, then my friends would be out of work and how do you think that would go over?

I have to think of my small little circle, so you can just take your original, thought provoking works and go the self publishing route.

And just between you and me - those are the best books and magazines. And if you market them well, you won't need to be in our private club.

Good luck and happy writing.
Winner: Mike Trippiedi
Reason: Some of the writing I see is so mediocre that this has to be true.

6 comments:

Mike Trippiedi said...

Your piece was original and thought provoking and quite frankly one of the best things I've ever read. However, if we were to publish it, then it would encourage other talented writers to bombard us with their stories.

You have to know someone in this business to get ahead and since you don't, then I'm afraid our little private club is off limits to you.

Don't you do your research? To be successful in this business, mediocre is the route to go. Why do all of you writers insist on being original?

I have many friends in the industry and if I were to let you and the other talented writers in the door, then my friends would be out of work and how do you think that would go over?

I have to think of my small little circle, so you can just take your original, thought provoking works and go the self publishing route.

And just between you and me - those are the best books and magazines. And if you market them well, you won't need to be in our private club.

Good luck and happy writing.

Mellodee said...

Dear Madam,

I am sorry to inform you that we will not be able to publish the article you recently submitted entitled, "Births Underwater". While I personally found the article very informative, I think you may have misunderstood the focus of our magazine.

I can certainly understand your confusion but "Berths by the Sea" is a travel magazine for Boat and Yacht owners, not a magazine relating to Childbirth.

Thank you for your submission. Should you ever write an article actually about boat anchorages, we would be more than glad to evaluate that article for publication.

Sincerely,

Editor
"Berths by the Sea"



p.s. I did, however, share your submission with my newly-pregnant wife and she would like some clarification on what temperature the water in the tub should be for an underwater birth. Please contact me at 555-5555.

C. Beth said...

The recipe you sent sounds really great--
In taste, I'm sure a "10" it would rate.
But my editor won't budge--
It seems "Deep Fried Fudge"
Isn't for the readers of "How to Lose Weight."

C. Beth said...

Melodee--Ha! Very clever!

InspiredDreamer said...

We can't print your poem, that's true,
And I really do wish we could, too.
But our rules, they have changed
And it might seem quite strange
If we published a verse in haiku.

D Gotlib said...

I don't know what to say to you
I have to tell you now
You see this is your day my dear
I just don't quite know how

Your work will not be published
If you can call it that
You see we did not like it
We fed it to our cat

It's not that you write poorly
You just do not write well
The truth is you write crap my dear
It's nothing we can sell.

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