porcupine, mouthwash, gnome, arrow, galoshesWhy is your teenager in trouble?
Thanks to Bethany for today's cue!
We Have A Winner!!! 04/22/10
She thought she had been struck by cupid's arrow. She had never experienced the sensation she had when she looked at Josh. Maybe band camp wouldn't be so bad after all. She walked over to him and smiled weakly. "Ummm.... hi Josh," she said. Her mouth was dry. She would have been willing to drink a bottle of mouthwash if it meant her tongue didn't feel like sandpaper in his presence. She watched him tug a little harder on the head of a gnome, trying to pluck it from his camp counselor's garden. The counselor had nailed it to a stake and buried the end deep.Winner: Heather
He looked over his shoulder briefly. "Hey."
She felt the heat rising from her feet, up her legs and into her abdomen. It made her feel nauseous, dizzy, confused. Is this what love felt like, she thought. She stumbled forward slightly. Her bright red golashes glowing bright against the slightly damp color of earth. "Hey." she responded, her vision clouding everything but Josh out of her sight. She felt herself sway. I'm weak in the knees. It's a fairytale!
Josh looked over his shoulder again. "Are you okay?" he asked, forgetting the gnome and reaching for her instead. She could feel the heat rising up her chest and into her face. She was having difficulties breathing. She couldn't believe what a strong effect he was having on her. She swooned. The last thing she saw was Josh leaning over her and the last thing she felt was his lips pressing against hers.
At least, that is the way she preferred to remember it when the other kids at band camp taunted her. She kept this story alive inside of her using it mentally fend off the taunts of the other kids who had learned what happened. Maybe one day, she would be able to use it as the opener to her explanation of how she found out she was allergic to porcupine quills.... and why she would never attend another camp in the mountains again. For now, she had to endure the teasing and hateful words that teenagers are so good at conjuring up.
Reason: I don't miss my high school years - but perhaps if I was more creative about writing off those embarrassing moments, my memories would be more pleasant.
5 comments:
Sneaking out is never easy, but I thought I'd planned it out perfectly. We had the time set for midnight and my bag was packed for the perfect prank. Ellen picked me up and I jumped from my window with ease! So far, so good.
We got to the first house quickly enough. I reached in my bag for the toilet paper rolls. One for me, one for Ellen and one for the group we were meeting. I jumped out of the car and my galoshes sloshed in the mud... I thought this one through! If my sneakers were muddy my mom would surely be suspicious! Thank goodness I remembered to wear these!
The first tree was a breeze. We were stealth as we threw and caught, threw and caught. We even decorated the lawn gnome in the garden! Ellen found the porcupine boot scrubber, so she wrapped it in a good round of TP, as well!
Getting to the next house was less fun. Ellen brought out some cigarettes, which I don't smoke, but felt compelled to since everyone was watching me. She assured me that a couple of rounds with some strong mouthwash and I'd be good as new. The thing is, I was starting to feel light-headed and a little nauseous...
I pretended otherwise and we got to work on the second tree. I knew I threw the roll into the tree, but it never came down. Instead I felt an arrow whiz by my head and come down with a thud onto the ground by my feet. I thought I was crazy for a minute, but Ellen shouted for us to RUN. We did, and just in time. There were arrows coming down from a window on the second story of that house!
We hightailed it back to my house boasting about our skills and our quick escape. Ellen dimmed the lights and crept onto the street outside my house. It was then I noticed it. My light was on, my window shut. Looks like I'm in trouble now... I guess my plan wasn't so stellar after all! Too bad I didn't pack the mouthwash...
She thought she had been struck by cupid's arrow. She had never experienced the sensation she had when she looked at Josh. Maybe band camp wouldn't be so bad after all. She walked over to him and smiled weakly. "Ummm.... hi Josh," she said. Her mouth was dry. She would have been willing to drink a bottle of mouthwash if it meant her tongue didn't feel like sandpaper in his presence. She watched him tug a little harder on the head of a gnome, trying to pluck it from his camp counselor's garden. The counselor had nailed it to a stake and buried the end deep.
He looked over his shoulder briefly. "Hey."
She felt the heat rising from her feet, up her legs and into her abdomen. It made her feel nauseous, dizzy, confused. Is this what love felt like, she thought. She stumbled forward slightly. Her bright red golashes glowing bright against the slightly damp color of earth. "Hey." she responded, her vision clouding everything but Josh out of her sight. She felt herself sway. I'm weak in the knees. It's a fairytale!
Josh looked over his shoulder again. "Are you okay?" he asked, forgetting the gnome and reaching for her instead. She could feel the heat rising up her chest and into her face. She was having difficulties breathing. She couldn't believe what a strong effect he was having on her. She swooned. The last thing she saw was Josh leaning over her and the last thing she felt was his lips pressing against hers.
At least, that is the way she preferred to remember it when the other kids at band camp taunted her. She kept this story alive inside of her using it mentally fend off the taunts of the other kids who had learned what happened. Maybe one day, she would be able to use it as the opener to her explanation of how she found out she was allergic to porcupine quills.... and why she would never attend another camp in the mountains again. For now, she had to endure the teasing and hateful words that teenagers are so good at conjuring up.
He sprayed our two garden gnomes
With a foul pheromone
That makes the porcupines
Think those bearded guys are fine!
(The video evidence
Is currently on YouTube)
Then he poured mouthwash into
(Without much ado)
My favourite galoshes -
Now when I walk it sloshes!
(Which certainly makes me feel
Like a ridiculous boob)
The last line was finally crossed
With this parental boss
When he wore that shirt
At church last Sunday - that jerk!
(Below an arrow it said:
I’m just here with Stupid, dude!)
Porcupine Arrows?
Galoshes filled with mouthwash?
I said "NO," not "gnome!"
porcupine, mouthwash, gnome, arrow, galoshes
Our neighbor's porcupine-shaped gnome
Made me shoot like an arrow from home
Galoshes on feet,
I ran down the street
And spat mouthwash on his spiny dome.
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