turkey, whiskey, jackhammer, pinata, candlesExplain to Aunt Ida why you're late for Thanksgiving dinner.
Time for a Winner!! (12/01/09)
*calling on a cell phone*Official Winner: TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
"Hi Aunt Ida! Sorry I'm running late!
I picked up the whiskey for Uncle Hank like you asked me to. I wasn't sure what brand to get so I picked this one with a turkey on the label. Appropriate, right?! Might be best to water down his drinks early on so he doesn't have a headache by mid-afternoon. Last year he kept mumbling that Aunt Lucy's singing sounded like a jackhammer in his head. Who told her it was ok to sing Christmas carols on Thanksgiving anyway?
Is Cousin Reba there yet? Did she bring a new pinata cornucopia centerpiece with her? Remember to keep the dinner candles far, far away from her 'art'... we don't need a repeat of last year's tragedy. We could've cooked a whole other turkey in no time in that blaze!
I'm just getting off the interstate now. See you soon!"
Why: Nice job incorporating the words in a somewhat natural manner.
5 comments:
*calling on a cell phone*
"Hi Aunt Ida! Sorry I'm running late!
I picked up the whiskey for Uncle Hank like you asked me to. I wasn't sure what brand to get so I picked this one with a turkey on the label. Appropriate, right?! Might be best to water down his drinks early on so he doesn't have a headache by mid-afternoon. Last year he kept mumbling that Aunt Lucy's singing sounded like a jackhammer in his head. Who told her it was ok to sing Christmas carols on Thanksgiving anyway?
Is Cousin Reba there yet? Did she bring a new pinata cornucopia centerpiece with her? Remember to keep the dinner candles far, far away from her 'art'... we don't need a repeat of last year's tragedy. We could've cooked a whole other turkey in no time in that blaze!
I'm just getting off the interstate now. See you soon!"
Aunt Ida, I'm wanting a lotta
Good turkey, so I really oughta
Be on time, but you see,
You're so BORING to me!
Next year, please buy a pinata!
And, Auntie, why is that jackhammer
Making that infernal stammer?
But now that I'm here,
Some whiskey please, dear?
Light some candles, forget all the clamour.
Hi, Aunt Ida. Sorry I'm late, but I had to use a jackhammer to get this turkey out of the pinata that I baked it in. If you light some candles, I'll pour the whiskey and we can tempt Uncle Johnny to get off of the couch.
But you’ve got to believe me, Aunt Ida. I only stopped in at the pub for a quick shot of whiskey on my way here. They were having a raffle and I filled out a slip, dropped it in a bowl, and not five minutes later won a chance at whacking this money-stuffed piñata shaped like a turkey. They handed me a broomstick and I went to work on that bird like a jackhammer, but it wouldn’t break. I was completely frustrated. I climbed up on the bar and cut the whole damn thing down. I know, I know, I should have moved those candles first and maybe the whole place wouldn’t have burned to the ground. Anyway, lesson learned. And after two nights of dreaming of your homemade gravy from inside a jail cell, I’m so ready to eat. Please tell me there are leftovers. Oh, and thanks for bailing me out.
Uncle Ed went hunting for the turkey, but drank way too much whiskey beforehand, so I hid his gun. He found the jackhammer instead. The turkey he found had already been run over by a car, and needless to say when he was finished "hunting" it, the thing looked like a pinata on the floor after The Who concert. Uncle Ed started crying about how he never does do right by you, and the turkey might be the final straw. We're late because he stopped by the drug store to get you a birthday cake to make up for him being passed out when you turned 80 back in August. Blow out your candles quick, before he remembers the turkey's in his trunk and asks you to cook it.
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