Their husbands had five alarm chili for dinner.Winner: Marc
So I have this friend... She just bragged to me about a bunch of ways she cheated on her taxes last week in order to receive a big refund. What, if anything, should she do?
It's your birthday. You've just opened a box containing the most bizarre gift you've ever received.What is it? Who is it from? What do you say?
My birthday had been largely perfect. No fuss, no muss. My husband and I sat huddled up on the couch after having put my son to bed, my swollen belly taking up the most space.Winner: Heather
"Did you get everything you wanted for your birthday?" he asked.
"I think so," I responded feeling content and happy. Our hands were intertwined.
He reached to the side of the couch and pulled up a smallish box. "Do you think you can handle opening one more present?"
I was immediately curious as to what was in the transformed shoe box. It stood up on it's end. The lid had been fashioned to look like little doors, complete with two small knobs to pull them open. It was the only gift I had received with the exception of the birthday card my son had picked out.
I opened the doors slowly and peered inside. I felt kind of guilty, as if I was spying on someone's life. Inside was a little bar and from it hung green things. I pulled the door open wider and reached in, pulling out one of the green shapes. It was a $20 bill folded into an origami shirt. There were pants and dresses too.
"There is $250 for you to go buy a new wardrobe. I know it doesn't do you any good now, but I thought you would want new things after the baby was born."
I couldn't stop admiring the little wardrobe. I was so moved by the amount of time it must have taken to create. It was beautiful in artistry and rich in love. Sometimes, money can buy happiness.
Always pack earplugs.Winner: Inspired Dreamer
Not for me, for the others;
I've been told I snore.
NJ cafeteria workers punish food-fighting studentsWhat was the punishment?
The kids were required to wake up extra early each morning for a week and prepare hot breakfast for the local homeless shelter.Winner: Isabella
*we did something like this to fulfill our NHS service requirement in high school. Bought the ingredients, made the breakfast at home, and served it before school started.*
Vacation to the place I grew up in:Winner: Alchemy16
I would have got drunk, just once, with the people I grew up with. I think at least the first time, thats the way it should be.
They just had the previous cue ("Unresponsive") read to them and, unwilling to come up with any new ones, they are running for their lives!Winner: SparkleFarkle (@WishMittens
So I have this friend... She says she's not going to bother posting a new cue today since there are so many old cues with fewer than five responses. Being the 5th response on an old under-answered cue let's me cross it off my list, which makes me happy. It also gives you a one in five shot of winning!
Why would I do that? I'm totally famous. Keep stalking me.Winner: Ryan Ashley Scott (@ryanashleyscott)
Oh my. No cue. Carte Blanche to write about anything. What an opportunity....Winner: davidseven
So....
Nice weather, isn't it?
......
Oh look. A squirrel.
.......
Uh.....
Can I have a cue, please.
Haiku must followWinner: Inspired Dreamer
Five-Seven-Five syllables;
Should note season (Spring!)
spoon, ukelele, yarn, hand sanitizer, feather boaHow do you use them to survive until help comes (or until you are killed by a smoke monster)?
Here I am stuck on this stupid island. All I have with me are the following: a spoon, my ukulele, a ball of yarn, hand sanitizer, and a pink feather boa. So what do I do now?Winner: Melinda (@mstacer)
It is pretty chilly here after the sun goes down so I will use that boa for warmth later. Meanwhile I am going to use this yarn to help me make a little shelter.
So, there! My little shelter is done. That multicolor yarn does work well with the green from the leafy branches I used to make my little casa.
Hmm...what's that in the distance? I looks like smoke. That's weird. Maybe it will go away if I play that ukulele a little. My playing sucks so it should ward off anything that might be out there.
Ack! What's happening to me? That smoke is all around me now!
Well, it appears that I am dead. I am floating above my body now, and I see a really bright light. Hmmm....I guess I shouldn't have drank the hand sanitizer. Who knew it wasn't like drinking alcohol?
BillWinner: Mike Trippiedi
You had fun on vacation; I guess that's fine.Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
But I can't help but wish the vacation was MINE.
I hope you don't care
(It's only fair)
I came over and drank all your wine.
The future parents of Susan Boyle leaving on their Honeymoon.Winner: Mellodee
So I have this friend... He's hired a cat-sitter while he's away on vacation but he suspects the sitter isn't stopping in to take care of the cats every day. Without staying glued to his security cameras online (because the point is to enjoy his vacation), what do you suggest he do to make sure his pets are being properly cared for?
Hire a cat-sitter-sitter. Or, save half the money and hire a kid (one whose parent's encourage responsibility) to sit the cats. You get a two-fer. The parent's will make more of a point to make sure the kid is doing his/her job.Winner: Ryan Ashley Scott (@ryanashleyscott)
Dear Miss Bar Refaeli,Winner: Marc
So, uh, about last night. I can explain, alright? In fact, that's what I'm about to do! So read on, won't you?
I know this will be hard to believe, but it's true - lying is not something I do! Out of my bum is not where I'm talking - I really do suffer from sleep walking!
Oh, you want to know about the camera? I was asleep, how should I know... ha ha?
In closing, may I make a suggestion? You might want to clear up your garden's congestion. I did not appreciate having to do the Poison Ivy Dance - especially since I wasn't wearing pants.
Your not stalker,
Phast Tawker
It is inevitable that someday there will be a battle between pirates and ninjas.Which group will claim victory and why?
The Ninjas will certainly win. Their suberb, kickass ninja moves will dominate the handicapped pirated.Winner: Donnetta
Handicapped pirates? Why, yes! Those damn pirates, as underhanded as they are, can only see out of ONE EYE!
Snuggle. With my dogs, with my husband, with anyone (well, maybe not a stranger). There is something that makes life so much better with a hug or a cuddle!Winner: Heather
Jennifer Love-Hewitt's recently released biography is called Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-Aholic. Why, exactly, I do not know.What would be the title of your biography?
I've got hobbies--I read, and I jog.Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
(I also cook, then eat like a hog!)
And I write about me.
My autobiography
Is an ongoing one, called C. Beth Blog.
