All Irish

Now What?: Write what comes next.

Today is St. Patrick's Day!

How do you celebrate, if you do? Or if you don't, how would you respond if someone tries to pinch you for not wearing green?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/24/10

I don't do much to celebrate St. Patrick's Day except I always wearing green!

It has become fairly acceptable in our society to pinch a person for an infraction as benign as not wearing green on March 17th. However, it is very much not acceptable to break those peoples pinching fingers for touching me and causing me pain.

So I wear green.

Happy Don't Pinch Me (or else) Day

Winner: Melinda (@mstacer)
Reason: "Don't Pinch Me (or else) Day"? I love it - it's exactly my kind of holiday!

MacGyver

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

You are handcuffed in the trunk of a car with only the following:

tweezers, breath mint, paper plate, plastic bag, emergency flares, jar of salsa

MacGyver your way out of the situation. (Yes, I think MacGyver IS a verb that means to manipulate an uncommon means of escape.)

Thanks to davidseven for inspiring this one!

We Have A Winner!!! 03/26/10

Well I’m useless with tweezers, so I’d open up the jar of salsa and dump it on my wrists. Hopefully that would make them slippery enough to escape the handcuffs.

Then I’d want to see what the heck I was doing, so I’d light the emergency flares. I’d quickly realize that was not the smartest move when the trunk filled with smoke. In the ensuing convulsions I’d probably hit the trunk hard enough, or in just the right spot, to pop it open.

Sitting up while hacking up a lung, I’d start waving frantically at the car travelling behind me. They, understandably, would be rather confused. A moment of inspiration would lead to me using the tweezers to carve out the word HELP in the paper plate and holding it up for them to read.

Their comprehension secured, they would phone the police while I tidied up after myself, sticking the used flare, torn up plate, and spilled salsa into the plastic bag. My Momma didn’t raise no dirty boy.

Once the cops arrived and pulled over my would be kidnapper, I’d offer the Good Samaritan who helped rescue me their hard won reward – a breath mint.

Hey, it would be all I had left.

Winner: Marc
Reason: Marc wins for his original and unselfish use of the mint.

Walker, Texas Ranger

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Happy Birthday, Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris turned 70 last Thursday, March 10. Write a brief story about his birthday party.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/24/10

Unfortunately, one-time actor and all-time ass-hat Chuck Norris passed away last Thursday at his own 70th birthday party.

His tea-bagger friends brewed up a spa-sized mug, but Chuck had previously downed a 64 oz blender full of vodka and whole bananas, mistaking ir for a fruit smoothie.

Thus impaired, Chuck tumbled over the rim, and refusing help, because - well he's CHUCK NORRIS, doncha know, drowned.

He nearly succeeded in returning from the dead, but could not overcome the rejection of the ObamaKare Death Panel.

RIP Chuck. You're gone but not missed!

Winner: JazzBumpa
Reason: Hmm, methinks perhaps Mr. Bumpa is not a fan of Mr. Norris?

Daylight Savings

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Welcome to Daylight Savings Time. Rewrite the saying above.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/23/10

Early to rise,
Early to bed.
Wealthy and wise,
With a social life that's dead.

Winner: davidseven
Reason: Very nice job twisting the original back on itself.

Monkey Business

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



You know you want to caption this monkey! How could you possibly resist?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/23/10

Orangutan: Awt eh ah oo do, OWNT ick san!

(TRANSLATION: "What ever you do, DON'T lick sand!"

Winner: SparkleFarkle (@WishMittens
Reason: I've had sand in my mouth before at the beach and I hope the face I made was een half as cute as this monkey. Wait, I'm not sure if that's what I mean...

College Major

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... He's choosing colleges and declaring a major. What field would you recommend he study that will be vital for the next generation?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/19/10

Finance, with a minor in one of the humanities.

The first because it's a specific skill set that's applicable in a variety of careers and jobs. The second because it's what turns you into an educated person as it teaches you how to learn. If you learn how to learn, think critically, think creatively, you can do well at any job.

Winner: TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Reason: Her answer makes a lot of sense. Really, any major that teaches you "how to lear, think critically, think creatively" is a great choice.

Desperately Seeking Cues

As I've mentioned over on my other blog, I'm going to be heading off for vacation in a few weeks. Since I don't want to strand you here without cues, I'm once again pleading begging selling my soul in exchange for some cue suggestions.

You can use the handy dandy Suggest a Cue form or just email me. Or tweet me. I'm not picky, just let me know. If I use your cue, I'll hook you up with your name in lights, some kind words, and a link to your blog.

Also, I won't be able to name winners in my totally consistent usual haphazard manner for about twelve days so everyone will need to play nice and I'll start catching up winners as soon as I return home.

Thanks in advance!

You Done Me Wrong

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Someone in your life has wronged you and you can't say anything but you also can't let it go. Write them a note instead, realizing they'll never see it, just to get it off your chest.

I've done this many times and often find it helps. I then delete it or run it through the shredder but at least it's out of my system.

03/23: No winner on this one - only two responses.

Cats vs Dogs

Now What?: Write what comes next.

This Saturday, there will be an epic battle between cats and dogs.

Which group will claim victory and why?

Yes, this is a bit of a repeat but the responses were great. I'm seriously considering replacing a daily cue with some sort of debate question.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/18/10

Cats take the high ground. Dogs tire of barking and eventually break off to pee on trees and hump each other.

Cats cannot act as a cohesive unit and will never mount a coordinated attack.

Regardless, war ends when dinner is served.

Winner: TM (@trmink)
Reason: From my experience, this is all true. And probably why the debate continues - there's really never going to be a winner. It's not in their natures.

Ultimate Winners

The hard-working and talented participants below have collected wins on all seven days or have won Wildcard days to fill in the gaps.

Congratulations!

03/01/10 - C. Beth
03/26/10 - Marc
05/06/10 - Inspired Dreamer
05/25/10 - Bethany
05/25/10 - davidseven

First Job

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

lawn, robot, yellow, spork

Tell us about your first job.

My first real taxable job was as a student aide at the University. No sporks allowed.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/16/10

My first summer job was to cut the grass at a nursing home, in Arizona. It was 99 degrees when I woke up at 8am and I don't particularly care that it was a dry heat because so is a freakin' oven and you don't see people crawling into those for a vacation. My father said I had to work this summer, something about being a spoiled rich brat, but he never said anything about having to do the manual labor myself. So I made a quick trip to Gadgets 'N Things and bought one of those top of the line robotic lawnmowers. I tried to get one in green so it would blend in with the over watered lawn more but all they had was yellow. So I charged that robot up and then set it loose on the perfectly flat and perfectly out of place green lawn in the middle of a desert. As it cut the lawn, I relaxed in the air conditioned rec room of the nursing home. Hey, they have Wii in those places now and I was deep into a bowling battle with some old guy when I heard an old woman screaming about a UFO on the lawn. Oh crap! I dashed into the kitchen to find a group of old ladies gathered around the window watching my bright yellow lawnmower working. I tried to distract them with the awesomeness that is a spork but I failed miserably. Finally the director came in to see what all the fuss was about and I was caught red handed (or yellow roboted). After a call to my father, the robot was confiscated and in punishment I was given an antique push mower - you know the ones that do not have an engine. Apparently the residents are not the only antiques kept there. I earned that check, only to have to turn it over to my father to pay for the robot I put on his charge card. The same robot that now cuts our lawn so he does not have to go out in the heat.

Winner: Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: Great scenario crafted with this list of words. Nice job!

Salmon Story

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Upbeat salmon forecast worries fishermen

Write the article that accompanies the headline.

Source: SFGate.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/16/10

A massive harvest of salmon sounds like a good thing, but for some fishermen near Scotlands fishing grounds, it's a real worry. Angus McCaber explains.

"Weel, I canna see ho we'll be away to kitch all dese salmons. We dinna have the wurms."

The worm shortage is a distinct source of concern, as they are a necessary part of fish catching. Tests are continuing with fake worms to enable the men to catch all that they can.

This however, also worries Mr McCaber, whose wife owns several sea fishing boats as well as a smokery.

"I seys to t'missus the other day, I looks in the freezer, and it's full. I has to seys to her "She canna take any more Captain. She's up to capacity as it is. I canna change the laws of physics!"

Winner: s'me
Reason: The faithful representation of the accent won me over.

Romeo and Juliet

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Romeo and Juliet is a classic but let's play Shakespeare and rewrite the ending.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/14/10

Oh that's easy - the parents let them get married, they start having kids, he has a boring going nowhere job, she has to get a really crappy job since she's a woman and can only work part time with the kids, he gets tired of it and cheats on her - she poisons him. Happily ever after right??

Winner: B, who posted her response on her blog
Reason: Perhaps the moral of B's story is that living an unhappy, unfulfilled life is a fate worse than a passionate life that ends in death? Beats me but I kind of like the idea that either way, they would not escape their eventual fate.

Fortune

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



What does she see in the crystal ball?

Source: George Grantham Bain Collection (Library of Congress): Pauline Frederick - Potiphar's wife (LOC)

We Have A Winner!!! 03/14/10

She sees herself fifty years from now sitting in the same chair looking into the same crystal ball.

Winner: SOL
Reason: I liked her response so much that I'm going to make it into a future cue. I can't imagine 50 years from now seeing that nothing in my life has changed.

Tattoo

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... Her name is TMC and she blogs over at Return to Rural. Recently, she's posted about the new tattoo she's having created on her back. If you were to have something tattooed on your body (let's imagine it's free, both in regards to cash and pain), what would it be and where?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/14/10

I'd tattoo eyeballs on my eyelids so I could sleep at my desk and no one would know!

Winner: Eternal Lizdom
Reason: Sounds very useful! Not to mention very painful.

Advice to Newlyweds

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

While digging through the Google Analytics for this site, I found someone came searching on the term "advice for newlyweds". I'm not sure if they found what they were looking for so let's give it to them!

Write a note of advice to the newlyweds.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/14/10

Dear Head Over Heals in Love,

Get a nice piece of paper and something comfortable to write with. Sit down in a comfortable place to write. Write out what you love about your spouse and why you wanted to marry. Fold the note carefully and store it in a safe, easily accessible place.

Believe it or not there will probably be days when you will wonder what you ever saw in your spouse and why you ever wanted to get married. On those days it will be good to be able to pull out your note and remind yourself of how you feel today.

Winner: Jacqueline, who posted on her blog
Reason: I've been married almost 12 years and I think even at this stage her advice is valuable.

Genie in a Bottle

Now What?: Write what comes next.

You have rubbed the magic lamp and a genie promises you three wishes.

Now what?

We Have A Winner!!! 03/10/10

I wish for millions of dollars
And the little man smiles at me,
Snaps his greasy fingers,
And I'm buried in cash from Monopoly.

I wish to be able to fly
And the little bastard smirks;
With another snappity snap,
I receive two plane tickets to Newark.

I wish for immortality
And he snaps his fingers once more;
Now I'm up to my neck in formaldehyde,
And thinking I should be more careful what I wish for.

Winner: Marc
Reason: A rhyme with a lesson. Nice work!

List

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

Let's try something a little different this week.

duck, chair, elbow, banana

You find the following items on a list. What do they have in common? What kind of list might this be and why?

Example: If you found a list that said "onion, carrots, potatoes, beef", it might be a grocery list and perhaps the list-maker was putting together a stew.


We Have A Winner!!! 03/10/10

The producers of The new adventures of MacGyver really wanted to top themselves for bizarre escape scenarios.

Winner: davidseven
Reason: I'm not sure I want to imagine what the duck would be used for - here's hoping it's more of a verb and less of a noun!

Ultimate Winner #1: C Beth

Cue the trumpets! Throw some confetti! Alert the press!

Today we celebrate a momentous occasion - our first participant to collect all seven days! Too bad the Olympics have ended or we'd have her stand on a podium and give her a gold medal.

Our first Ultimate Winner? None other than C. Beth (@cbethblog)!

It seems only fitting that Beth is our first winner because she has faithfully participated in every cue. Even more? She did it in limerick!!!

Check out her wins:

Day One
11/30/09 - Tiger Woods

Day Two
02/16/10 - Jealous

Day Three
10/28/09 - Halloween Costume
12/09/09 - I'm Proud

Day Four
11/19/09 - Sponsorship
12/17/09 - Santa
12/31/09 - New Year

Day Five
01/22/10 - Internet Dating

Day Six
11/14/09 - Over Her Shoulder
01/02/10 - Power Go-Kart

Day Seven
12/27/09 - Direction
01/09/10 Licks

So everyone join me in congratulating Beth at being awesome!

And what's the prize for being awesome? I haven't figured that part out yet. She never seems interested when I offer her unlimited amounts of cat hair so for now, she'll have to make do with knowing she has won eleventy bajillion internets while I hook her up with a shiny button and my husband's stock portfolio.

Ohno

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Marketers Say Oh Yes To Ohno

I think most of the cheesy horrible Ohno/Oh Yes headlines have been written but take your best shot at a few more. Or, feel free to write another horrible headline.

Source: CNBC.

We Have A Winner!!! 03/10/10

I was blue 'til that wonderful night--
Tickled pink was I at the sight!
Yellow he's not--
That trick was red hot!
He's the cream of the crop; he's Shaun White!

Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
Reason: Yes, she's still allowed to play. And she's still allowed to win. Because I'm the boss and I said so!