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The condensed directions: Read the cue, react to the cue. There's no right answer, no research required. I cite sources where applicable but it's all about coming up with creative answers. Winners are picked in a week.

The number one rule? Have FUN!!!

05/23 - I'll be naming final winners this week!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Holiday Luncheon

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.
Write a letter informing your employees of the holiday luncheon cancellation.
Winner Time! (12/10/09)
Dear Employees,

Every year this company has had a holiday party to thank you for the past years work. However, every year this party is poorly attended. And the employees that do show up, usually just complain.

We have decided to save money this year and not throw the party. I know that most of you don't care and for you others...well, at least you still have something to complain about.

The Management
Winner: Mike Trippiedi
Methodology: It's 100% true. Our company luncheon is next Wednesday and that's exactly how it works - complain if you go, complain if it's cancelled.

7 comments:

Tom said...

Due to poor judgement on the part of our investment firm, we will not be flying everyone to Hawaii for a Christmas Party Weekend Luncheon as planned in early February of this year.

We have to cancel this event or, reduce they amount of funds the company puts into your retirement funds.

I am aware that many of you had made arrangements for your realitives to watch your children and pets during this time period. You may want to notify them that thier assistance will not be needed.

I also suggest that you dust off your resume, and update it as things do not look well for January 2010.

Respectfully,
Lowe Stocks
President & CEO

Mike Trippiedi said...

Dear Employees,

Every year this company has had a holiday party to thank you for the past years work. However, every year this party is poorly attended. And the employees that do show up, usually just complain.

We have decided to save money this year and not throw the party. I know that most of you don't care and for you others...well, at least you still have something to complain about.

The Management

Mellodee said...

Employees,

We have traditionally offered a free company-wide Christmas lunch at the best restaurant in town. As you may remember, we were thrown out of said restaurant. They said they could handle the drunken brawl between Shipping and Receiving, the food fight, and even the Turkey Throwing contest. It was the White Elephant Gift Exchange that was the final straw. Stealing the circus elephant, painting him white, and trying to bring him in through their brand-new $10,000 stained glass front window was just too much, especially after the cops came and the elephant sat on their patrol car!! As the ambulance took away the blubbering and bleeding owner, he was screaming something about "never darkening the door of his restaurant ever again"

So after last year's debacle, the Management has agreed that the annual Christmas lunch will be discontinued until such time as you idiots can learn how to behave!

Merry Christmas!
The Management
The Peace Through Unity Benevolent Society

InspiredDreamer said...

No lunch this Christmas;
Everyone still remembers
The food poisoning.

C. Beth said...

Our stock took that magnificent fall
Now we can't afford paint for the wall
But here's the real reason
For no party this season--
I just hate spending time with you all.

Seansmoma said...

This years Holiday Luncheon has been cancelled. We're very sorry about the short notice. We just received word last evening that the restaurant where our event is held annually has been shut down due to unsanitary conditions. It seems the restaurant has been infested with rats and roaches. Sorry for any inconvenience this has caused.

p.s. If you've eaten at this restaurant any time in the past year you may want to visit your health care professional.

Merry Christmas!

notgordian said...

To everyone who does not work at VeriTech:

Due to an astounding lack of confusion, our upcoming "Straight Shooter" potluck luncheon has not been cancelled. Our events coordinator was well aware of the day's significance, and felt the holiday was ideal for discussing Veritech's goals for the coming quarter.

Once more, in an attempt to be unduly obtuse, the "Straight Shooter" potluck has not been rescheduled.

Have a wretched Opposite Day,

-Management

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