Police Suspect Moose Killed WomanWrite the short report that accompanies this headline in the local paper.
Source: Only in Sweden?
We Have a Winner!!! (12/14/09)
Former Ms. Transylvania Natasha Fatale was found dead last week, victim of a sudden and unexpected explosion. Forensic reports identified moose hairs and squirrel droppings near the scene of the crime, along with fragments of an oversized alarm clock.Winner: notgordion
Frostbite Falls Police have issued an all points bulletin for Wossamatta U. alumnus Bullwinkle J. Moose and his close associate Rocky J. Squirrel.
Natasha is survived by her fiance, Boris Badenov. When reached for comment, Badenov claimed Natasha's death was "all because of moose and squirrel."
Reason: SO many great entries this time, I wanted to give you all an award. But "moose and squirrel" hold a special place in my cartoon-loving heart.
8 comments:
She lived in the woods in quiet and peace
She'd talk to the moose while she watched flights of geese
'Til we found her, stark dead.
The note next to her said,
"I TOLD you, the plural of moose ISN'T 'MEECE'!!"
Local authorities have arrested fifteen year-old Mason “Moose” Brownleaf in connection to exotic dancer, Carla Steed’s grisly murder. Lieutenant Brad Brighton, and his elite mammal commando-squad, collared the 950-pound suspect as he hoofed it from a downtown bar.
Noah Hindpaw, proprietor of Noah’s Animal Pub at the corner of Ellis and Third, said he’s known Brownleaf since he was a mere calf and couldn’t believe he was capable of stomping someone to death.
Carla Mason was callously trampled after resisting Brownleaf’s advances at the Midnight Elk Club.
“Justice will be served…medium-rare,” Lieutenant Brighton promised at this morning’s press conference.
"Police Suspect Moose Killed Woman"
Although no body has been discovered to date, the Canadian Mounted Police theorize that the 1,593 pound Moose found just outside Moosejaw, Saskatchewan must have trampled a human female victim to death. They based their theory on the blood found on the Moose's hooves, the woman's high heeled shoe stuck to the Moose's incisor, the pearl necklace tangled in its antlers and the very expensive 5 carat diamond solitaire ring hanging in its tail. Further, the Mounties have identified the very strong odor wafting from the Moose as Chanel No. 5. Mounties' Capt. Nelson Eddy Jr. stated that he could not imagine any woman willingly surrendering these expensive personal articles without a battle to the death! The search will continue for the missing victim. The Moose is being held in the Saskatchewan holding pen as an "Animal of Interest". As yet no charges have been filed. [Film at 11]
After a thorough inquiry we know how she died
It wasn't a moose, but instead suicide.
I have a theory as to why she chose death
She couldn't take anymore rhymes from C. Beth.
Mellodee-"he could not imagine any woman willingly surrendering these expensive personal articles without a battle to the death!" Ha ha!!
Mike--Ouch!
c.beth....well, can you? (heehee)
Former Ms. Transylvania Natasha Fatale was found dead last week, victim of a sudden and unexpected explosion. Forensic reports identified moose hairs and squirrel droppings near the scene of the crime, along with fragments of an oversized alarm clock.
Frostbite Falls Police have issued an all points bulletin for Wossamatta U. alumnus Bullwinkle J. Moose and his close associate Rocky J. Squirrel.
Natasha is survived by her fiance, Boris Badenov. When reached for comment, Badenov claimed Natasha's death was "all because of moose and squirrel."
At first police and close family members suspected that Shirley "Grandma" Smith had been run over by a pack of reindeer walking home from her son's house on Christmas eve. However, after a close examination of the hoof-print left on her forehead and nearby gouges in trees it appears the likely suspect is a large moose. Police hypothesize that the moose was attracted to Grandma Smith's perfume and thought she was a female moose. When she put up a fight, the moose became more determined and it led to the fatal head wound. Also, a moose was sighted in downtown with scraps of fabric matching Grandma's jacket dangling from his antlers. An APB has been issued for the suspect moose - eye color brown, fur brown, about 5 feet tall, distinguishing marks include a large set of antlers from which shiny gold fabric may still be dangling.
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