Write a letter nominating someone for an award.Amidst much controversy, President Obama recently received the Nobel Peace Prize. Now it's your turn to nominate someone for an award.
We have a winner!!! (11/05/09)
Dear Ladies & Gentlemen of the Awards Committee,Congratulations to: TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
I'd like to formally nominate Mrs. Boobra McSelferston for the 2009 Most Self-centered Boss Award. Mrs. McSelferston has demonstrated stellar examples of self-serving behaviour over the past 3 quarters. She excels at turning conversations from issues of business to ones of her most recent aches and pains, those of her husband, and even her cat. She masterfully uses cliches like "I'm the boss!" and "the buck stops here" to refer to her position of superiourity over a staff that giggles at her foibles and makes every possible effort to be promoted out of her department. She under pays her staff to a comical degree and in one instance even shamed the president of the company when he learned at an excellent job candidate whom he had referred to be interviewed turn down the job due to the outrageously low salary.
Mrs. McSelferston is nonetheless generous with her staff. Once a year she takes them out to lunch on the company's dime. And every once in a while she'll buy gifts for each of the ladies in her department, making sure to work into the pre-gift introduction that she bought everything at FULL PRICE. She earns more than 6 times the salary of any one of her staff members and regularly jets off to casinos to fritter away $4,000 for fun yet she doesn't seem to put together that perhaps discussing her life's woes is unacceptable in front of staff who live paycheck to paycheck.
And so, kind ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for the opportunity to present this nomination and wish you good luck and god's speed if you have to personally interview this questionable woman, Mrs. Boobra McSelferston.
Kind regards,
TMC
underpaid worker bee
Methodology of Selection: That's one well-formed convincing letter! And who wouldn't want to tell the plaque company to engrave "Boobra" on the statue? Also, I was afraid that if TMC didn't win soon, she would boycott playing ever again or maybe suffocate me in my sleep.
13 comments:
okay, FINE...since you're gettin' all antsy.
i nominate all the repeat offenders out there for a "what the eff is wrong with you?" award.
because jail food is worse than hospital food. and only marginally better than airplane food.
seriously cate, that's all i can scrape out of my brain without my boss noticing i've been online for the past two hours:)
<3 andrea
Dear Ladies & Gentlemen of the Awards Committee,
I'd like to formally nominate Mrs. Boobra McSelferston for the 2009 Most Self-centered Boss Award. Mrs. McSelferston has demonstrated stellar examples of self-serving behaviour over the past 3 quarters. She excels at turning conversations from issues of business to ones of her most recent aches and pains, those of her husband, and even her cat. She masterfully uses cliches like "I'm the boss!" and "the buck stops here" to refer to her position of superiourity over a staff that giggles at her foibles and makes every possible effort to be promoted out of her department. She under pays her staff to a comical degree and in one instance even shamed the president of the company when he learned at an excellent job candidate whom he had referred to be interviewed turn down the job due to the outrageously low salary.
Mrs. McSelferston is nonetheless generous with her staff. Once a year she takes them out to lunch on the company's dime. And every once in a while she'll buy gifts for each of the ladies in her department, making sure to work into the pre-gift introduction that she bought everything at FULL PRICE. She earns more than 6 times the salary of any one of her staff members and regularly jets off to casinos to fritter away $4,000 for fun yet she doesn't seem to put together that perhaps discussing her life's woes is unacceptable in front of staff who live paycheck to paycheck.
And so, kind ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for the opportunity to present this nomination and wish you good luck and god's speed if you have to personally interview this questionable woman, Mrs. Boobra McSelferston.
Kind regards,
TMC
underpaid worker bee
I would like to nominate my boss for the Worst Timing Award, because every time I try to tell him I'm not satisfied with my position and want to do something else within the company, he starts praising me for how well I'm doing and swearing that without me, this place would fall apart.
Frick.
Ooh -- I would totally pick TMC's over mine. Especially considering it's an actual letter. :-P
I would like to Nominate my Puppy Dozer for the dumbest dog award.
You are a 3ft tall dog, not a lap dog, when you attempt to crawl into my lap it causes suffication and numbness in extremities. Please accept this award for your ongoing inability to realize you are a big dog, and not a little dog.
Love, your furmum.
Dear Award Committee Members,
I hereby nominate the cleaning team for a special award for confidentiality under duress. Each evening, after you have left for your comfortable homes these people come into your offices and clear away the detritus of the day. They empty waste bins, clean up convenience food wrappers, used tissues, dirty coffe mugs, some still containing cold coffee. The shredders are emptied, surfaces dusted and polished and floors swept. Then it is their unenviable task to enter the 'rest rooms' to clean sinks and toilets, to freshen the air and change the towels. It is in the mens' room that their most onerous tasks present themselves as it appears that none of the men, even the keen-eyed golfers and hunters who can so accurately pot balls or game, are able to urinate within the confines of the appointed receptacles. For the services they provide, the cleaning team individuals receive a pittance and are never thanked personally by the people after whom they clear up. They never publicise their activities or their findings and I think for that you should be most grateful.
I remain,
Your obedient servant,
etc, etc.
To Whom It May Concern:
I would like to nominate my Husband for Husband of the Year.
You would not believe the things this man does. It’s fantastic!
He gets up in the morning and makes the bed right away. He takes his cup of water from the night before and places it in the sink. He gets dressed and heads to work.
When he gets home from work he takes a shower. His dirty clothes go directly into the hamper (without any prodding from myself), he wipes down the shower walls and hangs his towel neatly on the rack.
After dinner he clears his plate from the table, scraping whatever bones or such are left into the trash. After he places his plate in the sink he unloads the dryer for me and helps me fold clothes. When the clothes are folded and put away we do the dishes as a team. Often he begs to wash the dishes so I don’t have to worry about my nails.
When the dishes are done we decide what to watch, whether a TV show or movie. He often defers to myself in the choice. He’s awesome that way.
When it’s time for the Kiddo to go to bed he volunteers right away to tuck him in and read him a story.
Our days are so smooth and peaceful it’s amazing! Please give my husband your award?
Sarcastically yours,
Toni
P.S. I really do love husband. LOL Just to be clear. :)
Rarely quiet, you make lots of sound.
Due to you, my lost mind can't be found.
But you are my two,
So I nominate you--
The Best Chickie and Zoodle Around
Dear Drunken Mail Lady,
I nominate you for the Heartless Witch Award. That's right, you awful woman. Not only do you regularly deliver our checks and holiday cards to the people who live two miles away, instead giving us their bills, but yesterday we received the ToysRUs Big Book of toys - with the best coupon carefully torn from the front cover. Thanks for leaving the small stupid coupon which is useless to us. I nominate you for the Heartless Witch Award because now we'll have to pay full price for that train set Monsoon's been eyeing - and I could have used that extra money to buy him an actual train to go with it. You stole a toy from a child, you heartless witch!
Sincerely,
RAS
Mean Mama with a frying pan (which now has your name on it)
Dear Sir or Madam,
For your next "Best Pet in the World" award, I would like to nominate my cat Randi.
She is only 4 months old but is the best mouser I have ever had the privilege to be acquainted with.
She can see a rodent across the yard, sneak up on it, and have it in her clutches (ie:teeth)without the nasty thing knowing what hit it.
She has the time of her life tossing it about, sitting on it, and tossing it some more. Eventually, she gets bored with this game and bites it's head off.
She then feels it is her duty to leave this thing for me. I guess as a form of repayment for all of the kindness and love I have given her.
So in closing please give the award to my cat. She might feel even more gratitude toward me and reward me with something I could really use.
Very truly yours,
......
I just have to tell you all how much I'm loving your responses. Not just to this post but to all of the cues this week. You guys are totally awesome.
WOOT!!! I'm a winnah!
Where's my check?
And how could i suffocate you when you never sleep? Come on!
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