Noise Complaint

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Slip a note under your neighbor's door complaining about the noise.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/20/10

Dearest Neighbor,

You know you're loud. You know you're annoying. And I know what I know. What is that you ask? I have friends in all the "right" places. Friends who will help me "hide the body". Don't even think of using this note as blackmail, it's untraceable.

Do. The. Right. Thing.

Yours Truly,
Your Worst Possible Nightmare

Winner: Pamela
Reason: Nothing says neighborly like a nice threat!

P.S. Have a great day!

Epic Battle

Now What?: Write what comes next.

This Saturday, there will be an epic battle between penguins and chickens.

Which group will claim victory and why?

We Have A Winner!!! 02/17/10

The penguins won, of course, because everyone know that knows that no amount of BBQ sauce can mask the fact that penguin tastes like charbroiled ass. The chickens, however, were quite lovely with a little K.C. Masterpiece or a touch of honey mustard dipping sauce and were quickly devoured by their black and whited foes.

Winner: Rabbit (@redheaddancing)
Reason: The clear winners of this post are the penguins. Not a single vote for chickens? But Rabbit wins because his post made me hungry. So many great responses to this one though - I really enjoyed reading them!

Good Luck

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

discount, faulty, compose, half, cabbage

Tell us about a good luck charm.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/20/10

Dear Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and Assorted Fairies and Leprechauns,

I have paid my big brother all of my allowance to help me compose this letter, so you know things are serious. I have tried everything in my power, but I have failed. I desperately want a Cabbage Patch Doll, but all my parents will buy me are cheap knock offs from the discount store. I don't care if they are half the price of a real Cabbage Patch Doll, they are faulty. Instead of a signature on their butt cheek it just says Made In China. Their hair is not yarn but unravelled rope. Worse of all, they do not have bellybuttons!! In exchange for a real Cabbage Patch Doll I will leave you my lucky rabbits foot. It worked well in the past when I asked for a raise in my allowance, when I got an A on my spelling test, and when I wished for a snow day. The only time it has failed was for the rabbit.
Thank you for your help with this serious matter.
Susie

Winner:Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: I enjoyed her plea for a Cabbage Patch Doll. I can remember my mother buying me a cheap replica. Devastating.

Singular Store

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

"All _____ All the Time" Grand Opening This Thursday

You are opening a new store that sells only one item. Tell the interviewer what that one item is and why so they can write an article for the newspaper.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/17/10

My store sells memories of loved ones that are no longer with us. It's a magical store where people can not only relive special times with special people, but also say the things they never said, but should have.

Winner: Mike Trippiedi
Reason: I'd sign up for a franchise. I can't think of anything more precious.

Cinderella

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

At the end of Cinderella, the prince slips the glass slipper onto her foot and they live happily ever after.

Or not - write your own ending to the classic story.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/20/10

Oh sure,
At first it was marital bliss.
And I'll admit,
There was more than just one tender kiss.
But things,
Well they began to fall apart
When my prince
Said something that broke my poor heart.
He said,
"Your step sisters sure are fine!"
So I just
Stuck that slipper where the sun don't shine.

Winner: Marc
Reason: Such a "man" way to behave. And written by a man. Even better for making me laugh. And in rhyme? Marc may just be a Prince Charming himself!

Eavesdrop

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



Eavesdrop - what's going on here?

Source: Spaarnestad Photo

We Have A Winner!!! 02/17/10

Congressmen trying to explain the fragmented health care bill to Mr and Mrs. Middle America. It was a spectacular failure!

Winner: Mellodee
Reason: Truth in humor, unfortunately.

Matchmaker

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... Roy has a great working relationship with his coworkers, especially his boss. The problem is that his boss keeps trying to set Roy up with his daughter. The boss's daughter is twenty years younger than Roy and he's certain it could only end in disaster. How does he tell the boss to stop the match-making?

02/20: As of this date, there were only two responses to this cue so no winner will be named. Thanks to Beth and Angel for responding.

Dents

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Leave a note for your parents, explaining that dent in the side of the car.
We Have A Winner!!! 02/15/10

Mom & Dad,

I'm sure that by the time you find this note Dad will have noticed the dent in the driver's side door. Before I explain what happened please know that I'm truly sorry and that I'll find a way to pay for the repairs.

Go ahead and laugh, Dad - I know you are. But I'll get another job and I'll pay. You'll see.

Anyway. You know how I told you guys that Mike and I were going to the movies last night? We actually went to a house party.

I had more to drink than I should have but I figured I could still drive home. I know, stupid right? After all those TV commercials and all those news stories, I still haven't learned.

Anyway, when I was heading for the car Mike noticed I wasn't walking too straight. He said he didn't think I should drive and I got pretty mad at him.

We said some things to each other that are best not repeated and I turned to get in the car. But Mike tackled me from behind and we smashed into the door, leaving that nasty dent you saw.

While we were wrestling on the ground a few other kids from the party came out to help him and got the keys out of my hand. When they finally calmed me down Mike found someone sober enough to drive us home.

I'm really sorry. I'd like to say that was the first time I tried to drive after having a few drinks but it's not. I think I need help but I don't know what to do.

Please help me.

Jason

Winner: Marc
Reason: I thought this entry was very touching. Great job, Marc.

Wildcard: Award Show

Wildcard: This category can be absolutely anything. Absolutely. Anything.

You are in charge of creating a new award show. What industry or group will you choose and why?

We Have A Winner!!! 02/15/10

It is about time that we introduce the "I sure ain't in it for the money" awards - to be nicknamed the Brokes. These would be handed out to the very best in the career fields that are horribly underpaid but that do tremendous service for us every day - fire fighters, police officers, teachers, etc.

Winner: Bethany (@Auburnrose)
Reason: It's about time some of those folks receive recognition on a very regular basis.

Weekend

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

tutor, fourth, equate, regrettably

Tell us about your weekend.

By the way - Beth and Inspired Dreamer are BOTH just one win away from having all seven. And they both are missing Day Two! Don't go easy on them!

We Have A Winner! 02/09/10

"We should have stopped when we had our fourth", I regrettably told my wife on Saturday. In school, they don't teach you how to deal with large families. You don't get a tutor to tell you when you stop when you're ahead. The constant noise, smell and mess my living room has become does nothing but equate a hole in my wall. Not to mention a boxing fracture on my dominant hand. My wife has been crying all day. She said that I am mean and hurt her and the children. All because I can't control my anger.

Who the heck calls cats "their children" anyways?

Winner: Eric
Reason: In addition to including all words in the prescribed scenario, he included a bit of a twist at the end. I do SO love a twist!

Amazon $20 Giveaway Winner

By my calculations, I had 73 entries. Given 1-73, Random.org chose:

#24.

And according to my spreadsheet of entries, that is Ryan Ashley Scott (@ryanashleyscott).

Congratulations to Ryan Ashley Scott! The girl with three names and I never know what to call her so I usually go with RAS. And then I think about raspberries. Not the fruit, the plllllllllllllllbt kind. She also has some sort of magical powers over random.org. So drop me an email with the email address you want the $20 Amazon gift certificate sent to and I'll make it happen!

Stay tuned for more giveaways in the future. The next will probably be based on participation so get in the habit now!

Chicken Playing Chicken

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Chicken plays chicken with drivers on busy street

Write the story behind the headline.

Source

We Have A Winner! 02/09/10

You know the old joke, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" I know one chicken that was going to find out the reason once and for all! He slowly stepped onto the street and was almost hit by a car. Every time he would try to run across the street, some vehicle would try to take him out! He's was so frustrated, he gave up. As he was walking back home, he did find a cross walk, so he decided to give that a try. Apparently, he didn't see where the sign said "Don't Walk" so once again, cars tried to take him out. He gave up, he was NEVER going to make it across the street, so back home he continued. When he arrived home, his neighbors confronted him, "You have so much to live for!" they cried out. He explained that all he was trying to do was find out why the chicken crossed the road. When he finally walked inside, he had left the tv on CNN and they were reporting some chicken was playing chicken with other cars on a busy street. To this day, no one believes him when he tells people that he doesn't know why the chicken crossed the road.

Winner: Silver Star (@silvrstar)
Reason: It's always the simple things that are over-dramatized in the news.

February 1st

Take Two: Given a second chance, how would this be different? Rewrite the ending to a book, movie, scene, fable, quote, etc.

Take a moment to consider the goals you set for 2010. Think of the progress you have made as well as the things you haven't started yet.

Tomorrow is February 1st but let's pretend it's a "take two" of January 1st instead. What would you do differently?

Cue idea submitted by Autumn (@autumn_in_jeans)

We Have A Winner! 02/09/10

I think I would have prepared better for the arrival of the 1st. I had vacation at the end of December but didn't make any huge progress towards setting myself up to really get things started on 1/1. Still, it's taken til 2/1 for me to know what to expect this year so maybe it was ok that January was just about trying to find a routine in which I could somehow get to all the things I need and want to do.

Winner:TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Reason: That seems to be the key for most of us wanting a "take two". Better preparation.

Late Night

A Thousand Words: Photo day!



They've had plenty to say about each other. Now it's your turn to put words in their mouths.

Source: SFGate.com

We Have A Winner! 02/09/10

Conan: "Can you believe the SIZE of his chin??"

Jay: "Can you believe the SIZE of his forehead?"

Winner: SheShe
Reason: Everyone's probably thinking it...

Gaming Husband

So I Have This Friend: Give your best advice to this friend.

So I have this friend... Her husband works long hours and insists on "unwinding" when he comes home by playing video games until bedtime. When she calls him to the table for dinner, he gulps down his food so he can return to "relaxing after a stressful day". As a result, she feels their relationship is suffering. How can she get his attention?

We Have a Winner!!! 02/09/10

The wife should dress up as his favorite gaming system and suggest "unwinding" with her.

Winner: Isabella
Reason: Dirty!!!

Debt Collector

Letters: Given either a first line or a set-up, write a letter appropriate to the situation.

Dear (you),
You borrowed $500 from me a year ago and promised to pay it back by the first of January. I haven't seen or heard from you since then. I may be old and hard of hearing but my memory is just fine. Where's my money?

-Aunt Edna

Respond to Aunt Edna with a note of your own.

We Have A Winner!!! 02/09/10

You were serious about wanting it back?! I went on a cruise and stocked up on beer. I mean, when was I ever going to be able to do either of those things, being out of work and all..

Winner: Pamela
Reason: I know a lot of people who operate that way.

Trunk

Now What?: Write what comes next.

"I found this in the trunk of your car. How could you?"

What was in the trunk of your car that caused so much drama?

We Have A Winner!!! 02/03/10

Mom asked me holding up the bag of jeans I'd cut into all shapes and sizes. "I thought your scissors phase was done with your teen years!! These are good pants, Autumn! You can't afford to go around cutting up your jeans!" I tried not to smile because she was really working herself into a tizzy over nothing and didn't realize it.
"If they don't fit you, you could have giving them away. Or sold them at least!"

Finally I couldn't help it anymore and I burst out laughing. "Mom, mom, I love you, but you've got this wrong" I said trying to calm myself down enough to explain. "These are the jeans that no longer fit the kids or me and were way too worn out to give away. I'm using them for quilting and crafting and a few other things." I told her softening my smile a bit. "These aren't the jeans I was telling you about on the phone, these were basically trash to begin with."

I reached into the trunk and pulled out a second bag. "These are the jeans that are in good condition. I was wondering if you would want them."

Winner: Autumn (@autumn_in_jeans)
Reason: Nothing like a good scolding from mom - especially when you can tell her she's wrong!

First Day of School

Checklist: A list of words will be accompanied by a scenario in which to use them.

candle, Connecticut, juicy, chair, plaid

Write about the first day of school

We Have A Winner!!! 02/03/10

It was a beautiful fall day. At least it would be if it was Connecticut and not Arizona. For September 4th it was hot. 104 degrees and it was only 8:00 in the morning.
Emily was ready fro her first day of school her plaid uniform skirt and crisp white pressed blouse looked darling on her 5 year old frame. I was packing her snack a ripe juicy pear I wrapped it in a white soft napkin to keep it from bruising and put it in her new pink lunch box. She stood bouncing by the front door waiting for me.

I walked her to the corner with the other moms and girls, all dressed alike. The little girl had all grown up together many had gone to the St. Augustus’ preschool together. Today they all started Kindergarten together. We stood waiting for the bus we would then drive to school and meet them there.

The girls all bounced with excitement Kindergarten was a such a big deal for them. They were so exited to go. The school bus pulled up as I remember it, a brand new bus. The girls got on the bus and waved to us once the were in their seats. The bus driver shut the door. And the girl started to bounce in their seats and face forward. Emily gave me a big smile and waved one more time.

We watched the bus pulled away and then quickly followed Jeanine to her mini-van like the bus it was brand new. Jeanine started the mini-van and went the opposite way It was faster and a straighter shot to take the highway. We got to St. Augustus’ in about 15 minutes the bus would take another 15 or so minutes.

We went to the classroom where other mothers and a few children were waiting. Miss Penfold greeted each of us and made small talk. I remember the first time that she checked her watch. I thought nothing of it. The second time made me wonder if this was the worst day of school for her She asked us to find our child’ chair where she had written their names on a card in such precise way that each child should know how to properly write their name. She talked a little about the day at which point I noticed other parents checking their watches I checked mine it was 8:50. I looked a Jeanine she looked at me in a quizzical manner. Then as I looked at her face fell seeing something behind me. I turned to see the Principal, Sister Alice, standing in the door tears streaming down her face.

To this day I don’t remember what she said I just know the chaos of crying and the police van smelling of vomit taking us to the hospital.

That was six years ago. Jake was born 7 months later. Today he is in Connecticut with his father getting ready for his first day of school. I am sorry to miss it but I needed to be here in Arizona with Jeanine and the others lighting a candle at St. Augustus’ for each of the children that died on the bus when it was hit six years ago today. I take the card that Miss Penfold had written Emily on all those years ago and place it by her candle.

Winner: Vicki
Reason: Such a sad story. Not at all what anyone would expect on the first day of school.

Taco Tossing

In the News: This category features news-related prompts.

Man gets day in jail for throwing taco at manager

Write the brief article that accompanies this headline.

Source

We Have a Winner!!!

Jeans-o-rama security incident report

McDonald and Wilson reported to the 4th floor of the right wing of the Hooverson Building in response to numerous calls reporting an incident between an employee and management.

Upon arrive, the officers witnessed the employee, a Mr. Chauncey, calmly eating his lunch at his desk while the manager stood nearby, his face and suit covered in ground beef and lettuce.

"What happened here?" asked Wilson.

"HE THREW HIS TACO AT ME!" the manager bellowed.

"Is this true, sir?" McDonald asked of the calm employee. It took him a minute to finish chewing his mouthful but finally responded

"I clearly put up on On Lunch notice sign, just as management requires. Mr. Carter came over here to ask me a question and disregarded my sign. I politely indicated that I was on lunch and I would come to his office as soon as I was done. Mr. Carter WOULD NOT stop talking. He didn't listen to me at all despite his staring at my lunch the whole time. So I picked up one of my tacos, and threw it at him, to get his attention."

Officer Wilson asked Mr. Carter if he'd like Chauncey removed from the premise. He looked down at his stained suit thoughtfully and said "No, no. I still need his help."

Winner: TMC @ Return to Rural (@returntorural)
Reason: Why do I have a feeling Mr. Chauncey may be an IT tech? They're prone to eating things like tacos and always interrupted during lunch.

$20 Amazon.com Gift Certificate Giveaway!

That's right, time for my first giveaway. Here's how it's going to work. You earn an entry for the following:

1. Follow this blog
2. Post about this blog (leave the link in your comment)
3. Post one of the buttons on your sidebar (leave the link in your comment)
4. Tweet to win (you can use this handy link if you like)

Leave one comment for each of the activities above for up to 4 total entries. You will receive an additional entry for anyone who comments on this post and says that you sent them.

The Prize: I'll email you a $20 Amazon.com Gift Certificate. Or, if you're in Canada/UK/etc, a US $20 equivalent to their Amazon site.

Deadline: The winner will be named next Monday, February 1st, using random.org. If the winner does not claim the prize by Wednesday, February 3rd, I'll draw a new winner.

Fine print: There isn't really any fine print. If random.org chooses an entry I can't verify, I'll draw another winner. Nobody is sponsoring this, unless you count my husband but you can't really count him because he doesn't know. I'm not being compensated in any way. I cannot be bribed with chocolate (in this particular situation).