I'm telling you, kid, a truth, not a lie.Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
If you can become as successful as I,
Then I bet that you
Could teach school, too!
Then you could take off that stupid green tie.
Yes, Miss Johnson, I did throw the rock that broke your window - but I was really aiming for that burglar in your tree!Winner: Marc
Their husbands had five alarm chili for dinner.Winner: Marc
They just had the previous cue ("Unresponsive") read to them and, unwilling to come up with any new ones, they are running for their lives!Winner: SparkleFarkle (@WishMittens
The future parents of Susan Boyle leaving on their Honeymoon.Winner: Mellodee
"The hat has spoken - GRYFFINDOR!"Winner: Isabella
AHA-HA-HA! Guys! Look! I got stuck AGAIN! I am so stupid. Next time I get drunk and want to sleep in here, you guys better stop me. HA-HA-HARRR!!! Now pull me out. I gotta pee.Winner: China
"Hey pretty lady. Why so blue?"Winner: davidseven
Orangutan: Awt eh ah oo do, OWNT ick san!Winner: SparkleFarkle (@WishMittens
(TRANSLATION: "What ever you do, DON'T lick sand!"
She sees herself fifty years from now sitting in the same chair looking into the same crystal ball.Winner: SOL
They told me I should make sure my life became fat-free, organic, no gluten, no dairy, no street-drugs, including medicinal marijuana, no preservatives, no sodium, no carbs, no starch, no auto emissions, no red meats, non-frozen, no sugar, no cholesterol, no smoking, no alchohol, no Red Dye #2 or any other artificial colors or flavorings or sweeteners, no lactose, no high fructose syrup, no radon, no molds, no UV sun exposure, no long-range noise exposure, no asbestos, no mercury from fish, no flouridated water, no non-iodized salt, no freon, no hormone enhanced foods of any kind, no plastic bags, no DDT or pesticides, no vaccines, no trans-fats, no chemical-dumping, no saturated fats, no microwave cooking, no plastic packaging for foods, no floro-carbon sprays, no high-tension wires, and no acid rain.Winner: Mellodee
So I did and look what happened!!
Norway's Men's Curling Team - yet another victim of lost airline luggage.Winner: Marc
Congressmen trying to explain the fragmented health care bill to Mr and Mrs. Middle America. It was a spectacular failure!Winner: Mellodee
Conan: "Can you believe the SIZE of his chin??"Winner: SheShe
Jay: "Can you believe the SIZE of his forehead?"
He just saw a glimpse of his future where he will lose many more arguments with women.Winner: SOL
So I sat in this funky bike chair,Winner: C. Beth (@cbethblog)
And then next--oh, it just isn't fair!--
I thought I'd be fond
Of this beautiful blonde,
But she's laughing at my awesome hair!
On a positive note, the only thing I needed that I didn't get was underwear. I always get underwear! I've lost a few pounds and mine keep falling down. It's uncomfortable. So of course since I need them, I didn't get any.Winner: Ryan Ashley Scott (@ryanashleyscott)
It's a good Christmas when not getting underwear is the biggest problem. Still, I'd like to go a day without sneaking off to the bathroom to pull them back up. TMI?
